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Moms Actually
New Mom Who This? Motherhood Challenges and Personal Growth Ft. Hannah Moore
Do you ever feel lonely as a new mom, struggling to find your tribe and navigate the complex world of motherhood? We've been there too, which is why we invited the Hannah More, wife of Maverick City Music's Chandler Moore, to join us for while we talk about transitioning into new motherhood, blended families, and self-discovery.
In this episode we discuss:
- The challenges of finding mom friends
- The loneliness that can come with being a first-time mom
- How becoming a wife and mother has helped her find her voice
- The pressures and challenges of breastfeeding
- The importance of knowing your own limits and prioritizing self-care
- Becoming a step-mom and the unique challenges blended families present
- The importance of self care
Listen in as we share our honest experiences, reflections, and practical insights on the transformative journey of motherhood, marriage, blended families and self-discovery.
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Hey mom, welcome back to mom's, actually, where motherhood meets sisterhood. We have one more episode left. You guys I don't want to go yet. I am so, so sad, but this has been an incredible season. So again, i know I always say thank you, but I can't say thank you enough on behalf of Blair and I. We are Grateful for all the sins and all the support. This week We have Hannah more on talking new motherhood and just the transition and what it looks like to balance Motherhood, marriage and all of the things. So let's get right into it.
Speaker 2:I'm like, thank you, i wish I had somebody to talk to about this, but I literally am like who? who can I talk to, cuz it's hard.
Speaker 1:Hello, welcome to mom's.
Speaker 3:Actually I'm Blair and I'm Morgan, and this is our special guest, hannah Moore Hey how you doing.
Speaker 2:I'm good, i'm glad to be here.
Speaker 3:I'm glad to have you.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I did now look, i know you're new to our, to our little humble abode here the non-couch Yeah the non-couch, but you guys know that we do. It's giving motherhood, which is a little icebreaker. It just helps us all get loose, nice and warm, and you know all the, all the fun stuff. Yeah, so we are going to give you a word. It's quick, rapid fire, and you have to give us the first phrase or word that comes to mind associated with it.
Speaker 3:First answers, the right answer always change about that.
Speaker 1:We're gonna give you the word. Okay, get it going. Okay, all right. First thing, dream vacay dream vacay Bora Bora social media.
Speaker 2:Social media Instagram favorite reality show.
Speaker 3:Oh, most annoying children show oh, miss Rachel, wait Moms gender reveal Corny.
Speaker 1:She said corny. Okay, all right mom friends um Rare.
Speaker 3:Say more.
Speaker 2:What do you mean? I feel like, since I am a new mom, i feel like the friends I do have, they're all still either single or in their like first year of marriage. I had crew very young. We got married in June. I got pregnant August, so anyway. So I feel like it's just rare, just in my yeah anyway.
Speaker 1:Yes, i mean, i feel like that's pretty typical. Whether you're like a first-time mom or you're having children for the third time, you just end up somehow some way kind of like losing friends because you're just in a different season in your life, almost not isolated, but kind of.
Speaker 3:She was the first of her friends to have a baby. I was the first.
Speaker 1:So I had my first child at 20 and No one else. Like any of this is when everybody's like college day, yeah, and you know we're all like fresh out and try to live our lives, and everybody's going out and I'm like home with the baby you know I felt Thankfully during that time. I mean, my friends did try to include me, but there were a lot of times where I was like, all right, i'm by myself. You know, it's just me and this baby, Yeah, sitting here looking at each other.
Speaker 3:I was the last one and I felt excluded because of that, like everybody had their kids at the same exact time and I was right after. So they were like doing all the things late eight, yeah, and they forgot about me because they'd already been in that mode. So I think it's rare, like just no matter what really hard.
Speaker 1:Do you want mom friends? Because sometimes people are like okay, i don't want more friends, really that much, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Because then, they want to bring their kids over and then I gotta act like I want to be around a lot of kids.
Speaker 2:Not a lot, maybe one or two just someone you can relate to? yeah, but you're right, when you do have a lot, you always have to talk about your kid. You know, I don't talk about my kids exactly.
Speaker 1:So how's it been with, like, just balancing that though? So now that you, you feel like you're in the place where you're kind of isolated a little bit, but you still have your spouse and then you still have the kids around. So how's, how has that been?
Speaker 2:It has been a little lonely, i would say, especially being a first-time mom. you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can read everything. Everybody can tell you nothing.
Speaker 2:It's just like your own journey. So I feel like it has been lonely, but I feel like I have learned. I Have learned to like speak out, ask for help, like okay, i'm having a day I'm not doing great, it needs to be around people, or I need to be by myself, or just different things. I feel like it's been. It's taught me a lot about myself in general, just like how strong I am, mm-hmm, how to speak up, because I'm naturally a person I don't, don't talk about anything. I struggle to talk about my feelings. No, i feel like it's taught me to be more vocal.
Speaker 3:How'd you finally start speaking up, like to ask for help, what motivated you or what got you there?
Speaker 2:Probably having the worst days. I'm like, okay, just being frustrated and motivated. It's made to be like, okay, i need to say something because I'm gonna go crazy.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, i wanted to know, okay. So you got married young, in your early 20s, and that's like the stage where everybody's kind of like learning about themselves, and so you get married and then you gotta figure out yourself as a wife. And then you didn't marry like Joe Schmoe, where you know you're kind of like you and he's kind of him, and y'all figure it out. But you married Chandler Moore and he's, you know, big. So you become Chandler's wife And then you become a mom, and you become crew's mom And like where does Hannah like go? Like how are you finding yourself in all of these other obligations, or are you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, i was gonna say I feel like I'm still struggling. Yeah, i feel like our life has been a roller coaster. We got married fast, had baby fast, just everything is fast in our life. So I feel like I still struggle to have time or days where I like just sit and like, okay, what do I wanna do, what do I like, what's my passion. So I feel like it's a struggle every day, literally. Like just the other day I was having like a meltdown, like I don't feel like my own person. I feel like I have no purpose. I mean, obviously, being a mom, being a wife of course.
Speaker 2:But I feel like I just am not doing something for me.
Speaker 3:I kind of got there. I don't know if this is motivating because I'm so old, but I honestly was there for like a long time, like I didn't know for a long time. I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up And I don't think that helped a lot. But then also, i think what happens is you see everybody else doing something, so then you think you're supposed to be doing something. You don't feel like just being yourself in your day to day is enough.
Speaker 3:I remember once one of our babysitters asked me like so you know, you have so much in you, what are you going to do? And I was like I'm actually doing a lot And I'm fine like being home and just kind of having this time to myself. But I think like the world kind of makes you feel like you got to keep doing stuff and figure out what's free And why can't where I'm at be enough. And I had to get off social media too because everybody was doing everything I was going to say sometimes it just helps when you just kind of like shut out.
Speaker 1:Even though you don't want to isolate yourself. I'm not saying, do that, but I am saying like it helps when you kind of don't look to the left or the right.
Speaker 1:And you getting your lane and you're like all right, i'm going to put my head down for a second so that I can figure out, like who's Hannah, who's Morgan? Like really just trying to figure that out, because I know, when I was like in my space of kind of in the between of like OK, i've got these kids, i've got my husband, who's all over the place and doing these things, and like now it's still like I feel like a subtitle, like I feel like I'm exiting this.
Speaker 2:That's a good way to describe it.
Speaker 3:I still got to get used to not introducing myself as Norman's wife. I've had to be purposeful saying I'm Blair.
Speaker 1:Oh, I stopped doing. Oh, i'm still working on it, but it's hard, it's hard to be like, because I used to literally say, oh, I'm Riverside Yeah no, i'm Morgan Like you know, or Layla's mom or whoever.
Speaker 1:But I think when I was in that moment I literally had to say like, no, i'm actually going to just take a moment and I love all of y'all, i love you husband, i love you kids But literally get intentional about me. And that looks like taking some time in the mornings and having like non-negotiable, like practical steps, because I think it's easy to say, OK, well, we're going to get focused and, you know, journal about our feelings and all of these things.
Speaker 3:But like it sounds good. It sounds good, But what are?
Speaker 1:the practical, like steps to really get into those like the deep work. And you know, sometimes you can only do that like by yourself for a second and then you welcome, you know, the therapist and all those people in, but until you get clear about you and who you want to be, it's like it's kind of hard And you got to find a moment because you brought that baby on two tours with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was two. Yeah, it was two. Yeah, the first tour she was literally like a month old, ooh, or two months old. I didn't do that I don't know To this day. I'm like I don't know how I did that.
Speaker 3:I have to say, like her and Chan are like the most hands on act of like. you see them, you see the babies, The babies. they're always around. You see her, you see Chan, Like yeah.
Speaker 2:I do love that We always said we're not going to let kids hold us back from living, so they're going to be along for the ride with us, Hold.
Speaker 1:So you said we're not going to let kids hold us back from living. but not just us, but you too. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It's easy to say that.
Speaker 3:It's easy to like have these conversations with our husbands, because you get wrapped up into this world.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, This is going to be our world, But then like remembering OK, what's my world?
Speaker 3:look like, because it's true, i would drop everything to do stuff with Norman, but I would never drop things to just do stuff for myself. Literally, yeah Same Yeah. What surprises you the most? I just realized that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, these are why these conversations happen, and it's like it's creating for us all. What surprised you the most about motherhood?
Speaker 2:Hmm, i don't know, i feel like I was kind of not prepared, but I feel like I talked to so many people and I got so many like different opinions, advice. I feel like I was kind of not surprised but, I feel like I was I breastfed for Till she was like five months. I feel like that was a big surprise for me, that thing is not. It's no joke. No, it's not especially like. The pain. Yes, that's what I was surprised. I was like okay, because people tell you, you know it's not comfortable.
Speaker 3:You'll have like no, it was, i can't yet, and I'm like, if it's painful, you're doing it wrong. Sometimes you're doing it right, exactly.
Speaker 1:Like even after yeah. Yeah, it's like once they're done feeding, then your boobs hurt because they're engorged. And then, if you, miss, you can get mastitis or you can get.
Speaker 2:I literally was up crying all night Yeah because I was so like just it was terrible, rock, terrible. You can't. You can't explain the feeling either.
Speaker 3:No with my life.
Speaker 2:I'm just, i just heard, i don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, i made it six months with noble, but kofi, i made it like a month, i think, and then I was like he's gonna have to get it how he lived, because I said, like, if it does not bring me Do, i'm not doing it, and that, yeah, and that was one of those things I wanted to do, because, noble, i tried so hard with her And I was just like I'm not putting myself through that stress, even though and he also had shark gums because they don't have teeth.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was terrible. Yeah, he wasn't like with noble.
Speaker 2:It felt like so romanticized and like yeah, it's a pressure, though people are like you need to breastfeed you're like but what if I don't?
Speaker 3:I don't work. That's why now I talk about that. I didn't do it for him, because I like you know what, and he's just fine, and I think there's more pressure too, on first-time moms.
Speaker 1:Yes you've never had the baby before. So you're literally listening to Everybody's opinions and you're listening to what you think is supposed to be right or wrong and you're like pushing yourself. I'm. I'll even love that. You said look, five months. That was, that was it. Did you feel like you were ready? or you felt like It was like what was?
Speaker 2:your process to stop. I had mixed emotions. We were on tour, so that was the main reason, part of the reason I stopped because it was just stressful trying to Do a show every night, go support my husband and try to breastfeed like it was just too much.
Speaker 1:But I.
Speaker 2:I fought myself a lot with it because I was like, dang, i'm bad mom. Of course you get all the things my bad mom not breastfeeding her. Now She has to take formula.
Speaker 3:So it was just I was pumping every two hours to get an ounce of milk, because I felt so bad. Yeah, and I'm talking about, it's not four am.
Speaker 2:Like doesn't like, it's not. I'm not gonna say it's not worth it, but I mean.
Speaker 1:But that's not worth your stress.
Speaker 3:your stress, it sounds cliche that fed is best. But again I got two kids where I'm like they fine, they fine, you know, if you love it and you can do it and you know what have you to it. But oh my god, it is not worth.
Speaker 1:What would you say is like, now that you're in it right and you're, you guys have gone on tour and you're like creating this whole life. There's also other kids involved. So what about the blended family is like okay, i can. This is also new to me. How are you managing that?
Speaker 2:I feel like I learn something new every day. Yeah, we, the blended family is amazing, like it's amazing, but also is like it's hard. Yes, and I feel like the part I struggle with is I don't really hear people talking about That part like the blended family.
Speaker 2:Like I'm like dang, i wish I had somebody to talk to about this. But I literally I'm like who? who can I talk to? because it's hard, like because they're not your kids but they are, but like I don't know, it's just a weird, it is we we've talked about this before because it's different points of view we have the different points of view.
Speaker 1:Where I am, you know, the primary parent and I'm the one like you want to hear it from the mom on the other side, but you also want to hear it just from, like, the woman in itself. You know that's saying, and you you're like I'm the step mom and I have. You know both sides as well, so it's like interesting to hear the point of views and how to like.
Speaker 3:Do things. Yeah, it's definitely hard because they come in part time and then You know, because you're not the primary appearance, sometimes you want to be easier on them or what have you, or You know it's just like the balance, because you don't want them to Go home and be upset with you, or you know it's, it's, it's a very fine line especially a different, I don't know what.
Speaker 3:Yeah it's a, it's a fine line, like now that kk She, i mean she's 16, so you know, when she comes, she really just chills and she gets a break at home. You know here, but we didn't really have to like raise her like her mom did a great job, and I think what's good about your situation, though, is chan is an active father like he's, not just. Is out here just like oh, you know, but yeah, and they're younger too, I think, with it.
Speaker 1:With them being younger, is it something that I'm also learning now? My daughter was two when I started dating my husband, so She was able to like grow up with him. But because she was able to grow up with him, i kind of almost assumed that, like this would just be her normal. Yeah, now that she's older, she's 11, now I think she's finally putting all the pieces together like, oh wait, like I have, you know, this family over here, this family over here, this is where I land, all of the things. So I think it's like it's a journey. Um, as they grow and, you know, get to the stage of adulthood where they really are, like, they get it.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:It's not something that's like once you got it figured out and once you got a routine. I don't think that it's like over. You know what I'm saying, because it could easily be thought that way like all right everybody's comfortable, everybody's got a routine.
Speaker 1:You're here this week, we're here this week. Everybody loves each other, we're co-parenting. Well, it sounds good, it feels good, but like, as they grow and change, and then even dealing with certain like situations at once Altogether and figuring out what that looks like, it's a journey, um, and not, and knowing that to like force it to, i think that's my biggest thing, for like The other side is like, don't force it.
Speaker 3:Yeah and that's I. I was like you know, I am her stepmother, but because of how she's raised, in our arrangement it's like I didn't try to be her mom, even younger, like she.
Speaker 3:Just I don't feel like that's what she needed. So I was like I wanted to be a safe space to her. I'll talk to her about anything, but I don't try to be extra. I think the weird part is like when you're raising the child in marriage and like Nova will be like where's KK? Yes, or like she'll ask Kofi will ask that, or you know, like why isn't she here? Or how, like why does she have two moms, and it's like answering these questions.
Speaker 2:It's so difficult. You're like oh, my God, where am I supposed to say? Like what? I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's weird because we never I have never formally like set down my other two children. I have four, yeah, four and a six year old. I've never formally set them down and said, ok, your sister, she's gone for the week because she's with her dad. She does, like my two girls, they share a room. So my middle she sees Layla call her dad and stuff like that, and it's like almost like she just kind of put two and two together And she's like all right, layla, you're going with your dad this week, you know. But at first it was kind of like those random questions And I guess I could have been better about like having the healthy. There's no guidebook.
Speaker 3:Who was supposed to teach you that?
Speaker 2:I'm still confused.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I got no answer for you.
Speaker 2:I have no idea.
Speaker 3:Maybe they got some answers.
Speaker 2:I know I'm like I need help, i need answers, because I just because we get them, maybe like once or twice a month, and usually we get them all together at once, or maybe it will be doos and then by himself and then river. So it's like it depends. But once I remember one time we had them all. It was doos, river and crew. I was like and the dog? I was like, ok, i literally take She, and I was like I don't know how to do this, but I don't know how to be a stepmom. I don't know what I'm doing. Like. I don't know if I'm At the first set, though.
Speaker 3:But I think that's the good part. I think everybody tries to act like they got it figured out, and that's why no one talks about everything. Because they they like I got it figured. No, I don't, But I got it figured out.
Speaker 2:So I will let you know. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think it's good too, because it shows you and Chandler's relationship Like you're honest with him and like, look, i know you trust me and everything, but like I don't have, i don't really trust myself right now. I need help. I don't have it.
Speaker 3:What's the most about marriage?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. I think communicating was like I said. it's not my thing. So I feel like that was the biggest like you're with someone literally every single day, sometimes all 24 hours, sometimes they don't go to know where you don't go to know where you all are together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just looking at each other Exactly, You're like wow, what are we supposed to do today?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I feel like communicating is our was and is, yeah, our biggest struggle, because we know, like we communicate, we were very open with each other. But I feel like we also have times where we don't talk at all. Like it'll be a rough, like a busy, rough day, we'll get in the bed, lay down. Obviously, we don't talk to each other, not like. Well, how are you Like? how is your day? Like nothing like we just struggle with communication in general.
Speaker 1:It's also your lifestyle too.
Speaker 1:Like you're busy And I think that's like that's what me and my husband. We have the meeting at the top of the week And we kind of in that way we can kind of set the expectation to like my husband, he works for a church And so Easter is. You know, easter is a really big week And you know, there's just certain times in churches that are like pedals to the metal, even with me, you know, and my busy schedule. So I'm like, ok, this is what the week is going to look like at the top, and that way we know we can be like proactive and not reactive And we're able to find the pockets where, ok, i know I'm going to be able to talk to you or look, this day we're going to be kind of brushing past each other And that's going to be.
Speaker 3:OK, i feel like they are together all the time. It's like you can forget to talk, because it's like I was with you the whole time.
Speaker 2:I saw, like you can assume, i saw how you felt.
Speaker 3:I saw like what are we, what are we going to say, even with like schedule and stuff.
Speaker 2:Exactly With schedules. he's like oh, i'm leaving tomorrow. I'm like oh, i hate that.
Speaker 3:You didn't even tell me Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:You're leaving, so it's like even little things like that, i know.
Speaker 3:I mean the thing is they have it all, but it's just like it's the communication still. Yeah, it can slip by, especially when you are again together. All you just assume things that are there And it's like I didn't tell you. How did you not know?
Speaker 2:Like I just didn't know You have to tell me.
Speaker 1:I think it's really dope, though, because you got, you really are in a like place where you're simultaneously building two like big things at once, like you're literally building marriage and motherhood at the same time at a young age and like trying to figure it out, but at a very accelerated pace. It's pretty insane, and I'm sure there are other like moms out there who are fresh in it And they're like all right, would you say, like would you do it differently?
Speaker 2:No, I would not. I love that. I don't regret anything.
Speaker 3:How do you feel about everybody having opinions on everything you do, like being married to someone That?
Speaker 1:is a different story.
Speaker 3:Yes, And not unless it's not even just. I guess it's like tech, since everything ends up on social media, but it's not just even like strangers, but you got like news Like you got people, like official people, trying to give an opinion on you in like things like how is that in your marriage, and everything.
Speaker 2:That is. I'm a hardcore believer in taking breaks, like you said, from social media, cuz I feel like, starting off, i would always be on reading everything. Yeah like, like. I want to respond that.
Speaker 3:Yeah like, and that's like the worst no, you can give them a verse from the Bible. Yeah, if you knew the Bible, then no, so starting out like even dating him I would.
Speaker 2:I was starting to get oh, I believe some stuff. So I was at first a look hey, cuz I knew like responding would just feel the fire, so I think I've just learned to just ignore. people are gonna say whatever they want to say always even if it's true or not. Yeah and you just have to. you're like, all right, well, i'm just gonna get off social media, not even look at it, and they can have conversations with them.
Speaker 3:That's the thing. Even if it's true, you don't need to say it yeah, like something, or say it that way, like it's just like People are very Also like that.
Speaker 2:I just not nice.
Speaker 1:I'm like when you're like trying, you're in the midst of trying to find yourself, yeah, and then you have all these opinions at the same time and then trying to figure out what type of person like you want To be and show up as oh yeah that's even harder.
Speaker 2:That's a lot, and even like cuz I'm to the point out where it doesn't bother me. I'll just look at my whatever but I mean, you can only see it so much and yeah, yeah I was gonna say cannot bother you.
Speaker 3:But if it hits you on the wrong day or it's like you see something, enough like exactly, i always say you know how people would be like I don't care what anybody thinks about me, i'm like.
Speaker 2:I can't kind of, do I?
Speaker 3:Doesn't like hinder my life, like it doesn't stop my decisions or what I do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's there, because words matter like exactly, i think, just Just ignoring it, still doing like what you still doing, you, and just ignoring it.
Speaker 3:See, nice why y'all feel so, but like exactly cuz how many people come up to your face and say anything. That's the thing. Why, why? none at all like wow, would your mama be proud of the things you're posting? Like this is the comments you're putting like I don't, i Just don't understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's actually the worst. I'm I'm glad like we haven't had to deal with it like too much, but I feel like we we know it's like coming so. I'm sure but I think it's. It's been nice that you don't have to like do With that type of energy. Thankfully, we've also have made it very clear what type of community we're building over here.
Speaker 1:But yeah, we're, everything is. This is supposed to be a safe space. You know what I mean. Speaking of safe spaces, i like to call myself like the self-care Guru girlie whatever. Like I'm pretty good at the whole self-care thing. Sometimes I'm bad at it, but I'm just like, yeah, sometimes I lose it, but you know, i think I've made it clear that I am a self-care advocate. How do you do that? Do you incorporate self-care? What do you feel about it?
Speaker 2:Like I do, i try. Okay, i'll say that I try.
Speaker 3:I know where two of them are.
Speaker 2:Say what Coffee your yeah, I am a coffee addict. Okay, what's your order? I, I like vanilla lattes. She's like I don't have nothing special. Yeah, i don't do all the extra, said I like lattes, but if I don't drink it I get a headache. Yeah, i'm like addictive is kind of bad.
Speaker 3:She's like I'm not saying addictive, for fun.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, coffee, that's true, bet is my. I wake up in the morning, go get my coffee, sit there, dream a coffee and then my day starts in silence. No, not really got it.
Speaker 1:So that's not so care, that's true. No, you're right, You're right, that's when people are like oh, i took a shower today, yeah that's just everyday life You need.
Speaker 3:You know like oh.
Speaker 1:I took a nap. Amazing, you're supposed to get rest. So like I think it's a good reminder and I love having these conversations- and asking mom because coffee. And then what's the second one? Journaling.
Speaker 2:Journaling That I do, quiet That's my quiet time.
Speaker 1:That's a good one, so that was probably number one.
Speaker 2:Journaling Because I can just sit there have my time. I usually do it when crew's taking a nap, so I can really get the silence. Yes, so yeah, that's probably my number one. Have you started?
Speaker 3:journaling again, yet I do. So I'm too lazy to write and then when I type I get distracted, so I just do a video diary. I just film myself for five minutes And I just like save them in a.
Speaker 1:I've never heard of that like that We started Remember when we were like watching, we were watching Princess Prince Harry.
Speaker 3:Oh, it was the And Meghan, yeah, the, meghan Markle, and.
Speaker 1:Prince.
Speaker 3:Harry.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:And they were like filming stuff and they used it in the documentary And I was like that would be so much easier, because I always find a reason not to write or pull and not to do that. So I just talk and I'm like, hey, if I ever become someone, someone else can like take down these notes. I have children.
Speaker 3:You can watch them in the future. Like sometimes I'll talk to them in it Like, hey, if you ever see this, just know, Especially since as a mom you know you get less kind of like time where you're in front of the camera. You know things for your kids Like you get videos of them, You get videos of your husband. So I'm like me talking about. I want them to kind of like know me and have that in a different way, especially when they get older, because I don't think I've realized my mom was just like a woman until maybe like last year.
Speaker 3:You know she was always my mom, Like I never thought about her like having her own issues and her own drama and her friends, and like what she has, like feelings, wise. It's just, you know, she's just my mom and she only exists as my mom And I think just to show the complications and just how life is, and so that way, when my kids grow up, like it's norm, like is how they feel is normal, and then they can understand me as well and why I've done or how to do certain things, so I think it could be healing too, cause, yeah, oh, it's extremely healing for us and them.
Speaker 1:I was looking at something a couple weeks ago and they talked about how, like mother wounds are kind of almost inevitable because of the way it's just like. It's just a thing.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean, no matter how great of a mom you are, no matter how great your mom was you have some sort of like mother wound and like being able to show them like why or how or where you were and like what headspace you were in in that moment, and they can look back and say, oh yeah, cause they'll just say to the mom, like my mom was just always kind of distant during this period And it wasn't fair to me, but it's like, oh, you were going through all that during this time.
Speaker 3:And I just think it'll be like a good moment for them. I'm going to start doing that Video diary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that. I'm going to start getting from you.
Speaker 3:No, please, i think everybody I'm telling you, and then even when you're talking to yourself, it makes you just think about your words and what you're saying, and yeah, how you say it, yeah. How you say it and how I reflect And I think sometimes when I start like I'm really upset when I do one, by the end I'm like a little bit more calmer or a happy moment. It's just yeah, And it's more freeing because I feel like when I'm writing, I self edit like you think about what you're writing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or think about it. That's true. Yeah, it makes sense that I'm starting to like be a journalist for a reason.
Speaker 3:Everybody steal it. I stole it from Megan Markle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i love it. Well, is there anything you have? you know that you want to say or encourage, like a younger mom who's just like fresh in their marriage and motherhood journey. Do you have any encouragement for them Or what you want?
Speaker 3:What would you want, somebody?
Speaker 2:to say to you. I think the biggest thing I've been like thinking about right now, and also doing myself, is asking for help. Like if you, even if you just need five minutes, go ask your husband, go ask your friend, your mom, whoever's around Hey, i need help, can you please watch my child for five minutes. I literally just need to go sit in silence. Or if it's with your spouse and you guys haven't had time together, just say, hey, we need to go on a date or we need to do this. So I think that would be the biggest thing Ask for help, communicate Yes.
Speaker 3:I love that. That's so good. Anything else you want to say anything else? you've been thinking about that.
Speaker 1:You're like I need to get this out. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Because you got a couple years in the game here. That's true. I don't know what.
Speaker 3:I'm doing girl, I don't know what I'm doing. You know, I don't bring those kids anywhere because I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:I feel like I whenever we see each other.
Speaker 3:I'm always like not complaining to you, but I'm always like you get a space, because you ain't gonna get nothing from me.
Speaker 2:You're loud. You're loud, i don't know.
Speaker 3:Girl, i can't pretend with you. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you. Sorry, i messed up that beautiful moment, that's fine.
Speaker 1:It's fine, but no, seriously. thank you guys so much for watching Mom's, actually, where Motherhood Meet Sisterhood. Make sure you like, comment, share with another mom and make sure you hit the red subscribe button. Please do that. Have a great day and we'll see you next week.
