Moms Actually
Moms Actually is a motherhood community that aims to redefine motherhood and break away from the unhealthy expectations society has placed on women.
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Moms Actually
Time Out: The Role of Self-Care and Spirituality
You're not alone. It's a simple statement, but for many of us wrestling with mental health issues, it can feel far from the truth. In this Time Out, we share our personal experiences with postpartum depression and anxiety and discuss the importance of self-care, mental health and soul care in our lives.
But it's not just about acknowledging the struggle; it's about taking action. What if starting your day with soul care could set the tone for your entire routine? We'll explore:
- How a strong spiritual foundation can bolster your self-care journey
- How incorporating faith-based content can counter societal pressures
- The importance of teaching black women to prioritize self-care
- The metaphor of 'unusual acceleration' - a testament to how our collective and individual work has led to rapid personal growth.
Join us for a chat that's real, thoughtful nd all about lifting each other up. Remember those days before filters and facades? That's the vibe here. We've all faced our share of challenges, but together, we've got this!
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They don't really care about us. Something, something, something. They don't really care about us. That we're back. We're back today. Thank you for joining us taking a time out.
Speaker 2:Okay wow. We're talking about self care.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just got really like a candle yeah we should have.
Speaker 2:There's one. Well, I think there's a lighter.
Speaker 1:Anyway, yeah, thank you for taking the time out. Yeah this is also our last one that we're doing.
Speaker 2:So I think this is like nice that we're doing it like this cuz. So last day here or last night here, we're just kind of like Taking in the last couple of days, um. But yeah, thank you guys, so much for joining us. It is our time out. Today we're talking about mental health and like self care and soul care soul. Out.
Speaker 2:It is, it's all care, um, and that's what we're talking about. I think it's very important to revisit this often subject because it is something that actually needs to be talked about weekly, daily, hourly, if you need it, I don't know, but it is always it's never Like overdue, because we always need the help and also, there's always someone else that never heard of you know way to get through things, have never heard that there was someone else going through what they are going through, and so every single time that we can talk about it, every single time that we can share our experiences, I think it was very important. So that's what we're here to talk about and I love that. Also, even though we are on currently like a work occasion emphasis on occasion because this has been very much giving While we have worked very hard these last few days, I feel very like I'm going back home, feeling refreshed.
Speaker 2:I'm feeling clear and just a lot of things, because during this time of like work I've also learned a lot about myself and just had confirmation. But it's also because I've been very like, self aware and Looking inward a lot.
Speaker 1:I just know, if I see a piece of bamboo tomorrow or anytime I'll be, I will wait. No. I saw some. I Swit wait because I would have probably ran around wherever we were. That's all a bit right.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks though.
Speaker 1:Are you sure the answer like shoots. I know what you see like the inside or whatever.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's what I'm thinking about it has to be no downstairs.
Speaker 1:No, yes in the courtyard, no way.
Speaker 2:We got to go downstairs after this.
Speaker 1:Yes, Because there's really so Bamboo again if you know part of our like origin stories. Mike Todd preached a message and it was a fact. I don't think the official title was Bamboo. No, it's called.
Speaker 2:Unusual Acceleration, but yeah.
Speaker 1:Bamboo rose for years and years and years, I guess under the surface, but then once it comes out it like sprouts to like ridiculous feet. Like high, high, high. So it's called it's unusual acceleration, because it just comes out of nowhere. It feels like, but you've been working kind of like you know, in silence, under the radar or what have you?
Speaker 1:And so that was one of the things that just stuck with us, because we felt like so much was happening so quickly. But it wasn't like quickly for no reason, because we you- know we were sewing, and God would like honor it quickly.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think I think it was multiple things. To be totally honest, I think that we met. It was all about timing. If we would have met at any other time in our lives it wouldn't be the same, and I think that's why the Bamboo season thing resonated with us so well is because, like the whole, years and years and years of work was done separately. You know what I'm saying. Like we individually had already put so much in the ground.
Speaker 2:And then when we came together and then we still we're like sewing even more and went really hard and all of the things, and God really like blessed that. And he blessed not only our individual work that we did apart, but we, he blessed what we, you know, came together and did as well. So it has been. That's why our growth has been like this. I mean, you know, outside of just like the obvious things, it's definitely that.
Speaker 1:It makes us do like another 10 years under the soil. Yeah, I know he's like okay, I honor what you guys did and he's like bam, you know like.
Speaker 2:And even honoring our guests, because our story is so crazy and if you haven't seen it, you know we posted that one. You can go back and watch that. But our story is so insane that I think anybody especially how we ended up meeting and talking and being like, okay, yeah let's work together. That had to do with a certain level of surrender, a certain level of a yes and a certain level of trust in God, that like, hey, I heard you and I heard you clearly and I'm gonna trust that.
Speaker 2:You're about to like basically keep me, keep me good, keep me going, and like really bless this. So we wanted to talk. We've kind of gone on a tangent just a little bit, but I think it's still very much so all correlated, because when we started, the reason why her and I started in the very beginning is because we both had experiences where we recognized that women should not go through these things alone. And so she had dealt with post-proud you mean anxiety. Yeah, you had post-proud anxiety. I dealt with post-proud depression and it was very, very real, very insane, and we both experienced like two totally different things. And I think another thing is a lot of women, especially black women, we are just not taught to care for ourselves in that way. No, just period, it's not. We're not taught that.
Speaker 1:We are taught to, we have to be you know We've got to work for everybody Show up for everybody. To you know, keep pushing, push through all the things that are like and work great while you do it. And, yeah, look, make sure your hair done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all the things, and it's just like, okay, cool. So when anything in your body is pretty much like fighting that and negating that, we feel like something is wrong with us and that's not the case. And then we're also afraid because of the way we've been taught and what the expectations are. We're afraid to even say anything about it. So Think that part was interesting for both of us. I know, for me. I Hadn't. I had two children before. I had my son in debt with that, so it was completely new to me because it caught me off guard, because I just thought I knew what it would be like to have, you know, go through the postpartum journey and the postpartum journey itself. Is that easy? No, that's like that's the thing.
Speaker 1:It's because everybody it ties attaches it to depression or yeah like postpartum is just, it exists for everybody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cuz it's postpartum. Yeah, it's just the time after you've had your child. So I think some people are like I didn't have it because I didn't have depression or I didn't have anxiety, but you still had hormones. Yeah, I'm seeing through your body. Yeah, so like experience, like a and I don't say like traumatic event, like mentally, but your body, like Whatever like, especially if you had a C-section or vaginal delivery, like your body is something traumatic.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's not normal.
Speaker 1:It's not normal so it's like, even if you're not going through the extremes or mid extremes, like you're still going through a lot. And I think one thing Maureen talks about is when we talk about self-care is kind of personal care, yeah, versus what self-care action? Is, which is why I refer to soul care. Yeah, we're, and so you can.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely those differences, it's a total. It's a total difference and it's because, like, and I have been saying talking about self-care for Years now and I think when people would hear me talk about self-care before the soft life and all that stuff got popular, she's like I wish I'll like.
Speaker 2:Well, no, it was also because, like I felt like I needed to figure it out like I, once I Went through the whole postpartum thing, I was like, okay, this is not the way. And you know, I also recognize that there were certain patterns and habits that Truly, were not helping me heal from the postpartum depression Like it, they weren't helping me get through it any better and just that was just my own doing. So I'm like, okay, cool, and Because when you're, you know, recovering from having a baby, you're already home with the baby. Well, the number one you think you hear repetitively sleep with the baby sleep.
Speaker 1:I love all the like, what it's like viral, like baby sleeps, and they just start like dropping, like flies. We're, yeah, but like see the baby like cool, okay.
Speaker 2:so it's almost like you're telling me that that is what's going to Like, make me feel better.
Speaker 2:Yes, obviously, rest is gonna make me feel better, but then when I wake up and I still feel the same way, then what happens next? And so I think what happens is we Associate like oh, self care means I'm doing something that is actually personal care, which is actually I'm doing things that really helped me just live and sustain my life. I'm taking a nap, I'm taking a shower, I'm going to get my nails done. This is upkeep, this is maintenance. These are things that, like, you have to get done. I'm not saying you have to get your nails done, but these are all personal care.
Speaker 1:I don't bring you like extra joy. It's like, yeah, no, these are things that like continue to help you, just keep living.
Speaker 2:And so when I recognize that I'm like okay, morgan, this is more about your, your soul, this is more about internal like what fills your cup Internally, what makes you feel joy, what makes you feel alive again. And so when I had to start like really like digging through that because, to be totally honest, also when I, just when I, uh, finally accepted the fact that I had postpartum depression, I it was so bad that I went straight for like telling the doctor just give me the medicine. The medicine did not. It just did not agree with me. I did not like the way it made me feel. I tried to like stick it out, because they always tell you you need to like.
Speaker 2:Keep the research, know where I'm out of weeks I did that and it was still just not for me, and so I just was like okay, well, at this point I could talk to someone, sure, but that's another server, another.
Speaker 2:I just was like I'm a favorite stuff and that's what I did, and for me it was about the soul, and so I think that it's why I like talk about it so much and preach it to you know, on the platform and things like that, because I, if you don't know who you are internally, if you don't know where you are, and with all the noise and things like that, it's also very easy to cope and self-medicate and you know, just do all the things that you think are right, because you know you feel like, okay, I'm fine, I'm going through this, I've accepted this. So this is what I'm gonna do to make it better. I'm gonna book a day at the spot, I put my robe on and I go back home and guess what? Still feel the same way it's. So you know, it's all about internal and not the. Those things are cool, they're great, awesome, lovely, but what about the internal? Is helping you like care for yourself on another level, keep yourself aware and keep you like intentional. I would say. What is some of the things?
Speaker 1:I can ask what do you do? What am I?
Speaker 2:doing? Yeah, what am I doing? Um, what am I doing? So it changes.
Speaker 2:Um, I, I pretty much like, I like to use the. I use I like to use the narrative of a car. So you, if you're driving a car and you know your light comes on, all the lights. Hopefully, all the lights do not come on at the same time. Let's pray that they're not all coming up. Yeah, yeah, but they're not all coming up all on at the same time and they all don't mean the same thing, right? So that's like us.
Speaker 2:Um, sometimes my engine light comes on. Sometimes it's just I need more washer fluid. You know what I'm saying. And so I am like very, very Entuned with what those things are and I'm okay with pulling over to the side of the road and saying, alright, what do I need to do? And really really like tending to those things and every of. Obviously you're not going to fix an engine with washer fluid. So, because I'm in tune with those different things and what season I am in life, I feel like that has helped me. And so sometimes it means I'm Truly just tuning everything out and shutting down. Sometimes it means, like right now, what I'm learning? That I'm fueled by one, my alone time, because I'm so stimulated all the time that I need quiet time and I'm but Also very much stimulated by people. Yeah, like people that I love.
Speaker 2:Yeah so you know how you say like find your home. Right now I am buying my home in my like loved ones, like this time with us together. I'm like, oh, I feel so good, I feel so alive. Like, oh, so right now it just looks different and I don't think I would have said that months ago. But every, every season looks different for sure. So I think it's that's why I keep. I hate to be like general, but truly every season looks different. I do have my base things like my, my journal time, my prayer time, my prayer time. My prayer time and my prayer time. That is a non-negotiable, that's always gonna happen, that's always gonna be thing. Sometimes it fluctuates as far as, like I know if I'm getting too busy and I'm like I didn't have my devotional as long as I would have liked, but I pray all day.
Speaker 1:I definitely got out there.
Speaker 2:Because it's necessary and I think that because that foundation is so strong I'm able to really really like kind of teeter-totter in the other elements of the ways that I care for myself, Because I'm able to have the foundation of like me and God, we go together. You know what I'm saying Like we like this, so he's able to also slow me down when I'm not slowing myself down. And because we're so close, I hear what he's saying, Paul.
Speaker 1:Clearly yeah, and I think that's what I started doing as part of my soul care is how I start my day, because I think it really determines the rest of your day oh I think things can't throw you off or what have you, but I think the stronger you start your day, the better it's gonna go. So I start out with my devotional, I spend my and, if you have the time, either wake up earlier or which is a struggle sometimes, yeah, it depends on what your schedule is, but when I start waking up earlier because people are like I'm gonna wake up for a six am prayer.
Speaker 1:I'm not, I'm not. And then what would happen is every day I'd be disappointed because, man, I didn't wake up at six o'clock anymore. So usually my kids wake up at eight. So what I do is I set my alarm for seven thirty, because then I'm at least like kind of awake by seven forty five, which gives me fifteen minutes. And yes, some people would be like fifteen minutes isn't a lot, but that's fifteen minutes. I was not doing anything at all and I'm like, even if it wasn't, to like seven fifty five, that's five minutes to one day at all, and like at least to get a divo in. And because I'm at home, what I do is I do my divo in the morning, then I get my kids all set up to whatever they're doing and then I don't watch anything except for sermons or like faith-based related content anytime during the day and I don't start like with my fun stuff my stuff I'm gonna watch, usually to like five or something.
Speaker 1:I'm like I'm gonna fill myself up with that, and it's not that I'm like sitting there on the couch like devouring it, but it's like it's always the background noise while I'm on the phone, or while I'm on the phone or doing work, because there's a lot that gets into you subconsciously, just like rap, music, all that kind of stuff, like the reason why it's sending you messages all day. That's why we think we have to dress a certain way, act a certain way, you know, do certain things, cause music, television, all of that tells us how to act in society, and then it's doubled down on the internet, yeah, and so if you're filling yourself, it's like that.
Speaker 1:I mean, even before, jackie Hill Perry and Tim Ross did it, like a couple of years ago, I said like listen to worship music or faith-based music for like a month, even though week and see how different this video.
