Moms Actually

MA Top 12: Cutting Ties Ft. Jade Godbolt (S3 Ep.2)

• Morgan Taylor and Blair Gyamfi Ft. Jade Godbolt • Season 3 • Episode 24

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Hey Ma! We’re hitting rewind and spotlighting our "MA Top 12" — the standout episodes from our first three seasons of Moms Actually. From October 12 to December 28, don’t miss the moments that defined us. Join us as a we take a trip down memory lane as we prepare for Season 4. 

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When the spotlight fades and the applause dies down, grappling with identity can be an uphill task, especially when life tosses you into brand new roles. Jade Godbolt, our guest for today's episode, opens up about her journey navigating the waters of motherhood, step-parenting, and marriage. How do you shake off the dust of who you were to embrace who you are now? Jade shares her evolution from pre-motherhood to becoming a mom, and how she found comfort in missing the woman she used to be. 

Jade gives us an intimate look into:

  • Her rebranding journey, from being known as 'Lipstick and Curls' to rebirthing her real identity—a process that was as challenging as it was therapeutic. 
  • How her hair played a profound role in her transformation 
  • Her journey to finding balance in her professional and personal life. 
  • What faith looks like in the intricate dance of family relationships? 
  • How her faith and trust in God shaped her relationship with her husband and daughter. 
  • Her experience as a stepmom, and how generational curses almost threatened her family's harmony. 
  • A powerful perspective on how the comfort of blessings can be a distraction from the path God has planned for us. 

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Speaker 1:

The things that I thought I wanted. I was like going into these spaces and I'm like, oh my God, I hate this. Oh my God, I hate this, and I've been dreaming these things up for years. What's up, what's up, hey Moa, what's up, what's up.

Speaker 2:

Hey Moa, what's up. Hey Moa, what's up. Hey Moa, what's up. Well, welcome back to this week's episode of Moms. Actually, we have Jade here, hello, welcome to our home for the week. Oh my gosh, we are so excited. It's beautiful, it's a whole situation.

Speaker 1:

Ok, how are you feeling? I'm feeling great. First off, the weather is incredible. Outside it's like that perfect spring, warm but not hot, and in Texas that's like a dime a dozen.

Speaker 3:

OK, because it's about to be hot.

Speaker 1:

All right, but it's beautiful. The water's right outside this house is gorgeous you all are like everyone. It's giving peace, it's giving peace. So, yes, I feel great, feel great.

Speaker 2:

We're really excited to have you. I'm Morgan, this is Blair, so let's get started.

Speaker 3:

Let's get started. So you've watched this before, so you know we usually start with the game. So we are going to do a rapid fire for it's Giving Motherhood. So we are going to ask you a question and you tell us your immediate answer. Ooh.

Speaker 2:

OK, the first answer. It's the right answer. Ok, ok, you ready.

Speaker 3:

Toddlers Ooh, is that the word?

Speaker 1:

That's it. I got two at home. Yeah, South here, oh, like fill up Like fill me up All right, yeah, date night. Oh, my husband.

Speaker 2:

I just like love him so much. Hair, chopped it off.

Speaker 1:

OK, ok, ha ha ha. Step mom, I love it. It's not easy and it's a place that I'm trying to grow in, still getting used to. Yeah, yeah, postpartum. Ooh, I'm coming out of it and I'm feeling better than the last two times I came out of it. So, yeah, nice.

Speaker 3:

And the last one, lipstick and curls.

Speaker 1:

Oh, sometimes I miss her, sometimes I miss her. But ooh, why am I already getting emotional? Sometimes I miss her, but I'm happy to be Jade Godbolt now, so yeah, what do you miss about her?

Speaker 1:

Oh man, how am I already emotional? It's fine, this is where we're here. Do you expect me to go At all, like I did not. I've actually never. I've told this part of my life multiple times and I never really get emotional, but I don't know. It's the energy in here.

Speaker 1:

But I miss her in the season of just like excitement and opportunity and just what it's like when you're single and you don't have any kids and you don't have a husband and everything is so like evergreen and just yeah, and that excitement is what I miss the most.

Speaker 1:

And also feeling very confident in myself and who I was at a time. I think, like as I became a wife and a mom, you have those seasons, you all know. It's like you kind of question yourself and also like where God has taken me in growing as a person, like I'm not her anymore and I have to go through like times of grieving her but also not looking at her as if she was bad or if she was not worthy. It was just a matter of like there's evolution and change in life and you grow as a person and it's OK to miss who you were at a time and so it's kind of that balance of like reminisce but don't regret, and like don't stay there too long, because then you start living in the past and not in the present. So that's kind of like where I've been with hers, like I love that time of my life, I love what it represented for me, but she's gone.

Speaker 2:

So I love that because it actually goes into one of the first questions I wanted to ask you. Ok. Is like at what point? Because I've actually been following you I'm stalking For over 10 years. No way.

Speaker 1:

Yes, morgan. What yes, I did not know this.

Speaker 2:

I have been a loyal lipstick and curls follower.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, OK maybe, so that's why I'm feeling emotional, because you're the one with the history.

Speaker 3:

OK, maybe that's, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

I'm picking up something where it's like y'all know what it is for some reason, and we can all reminisce about her a little bit yeah.

Speaker 2:

Truly so. I remember following you and this was your journey and everything, and then just to see you evolve and I wanted to know at what point in your life did you decide you wanted to pretty much just change the way the world?

Speaker 3:

knew you, because you're doing it publicly.

Speaker 2:

You're literally evolving in a different way, and I know we all evolve, right yeah, but in the way that you're doing it, it catches my eye intensely.

Speaker 1:

I mean thank you for saying that, because I've talked about this here and there in this new part of it, because I think it's been this journey that I've been on, but it's definitely been spirit led and not something I planned. Like God told me to change my name, so I changed it. There was no strategy, there was no, I mean y'all. I even went on YouTube and I'm like, how do you do a rebrand? Like, how do you do that? The YouTuber YouTube, truly Like, how do you? You know, because it's a heavy lift. Honestly, it's not easy.

Speaker 1:

Like I had so many articles, press things all mentioning lipstick and curls, but not my actual name, which also I'm using my married name now Godbolt. My name before was Jade Kendall. So even when I was referencing SEO, just SEO alone is like I lose all that decade, over a decade of data and searchability and things and people knowing me is that and so that was hard and so it wasn't like I wanted to do it. It was like if I don't listen to him, it's gonna be bad. So like let me obey. And I just started that and he kept pushing on me to like talk about him on my platform and I remember like praying and being like first off, I don't wanna do this. Let's just put that out there. I don't wanna do it, okay. And also it's like right, I also don't want to make my content all about you. Like I did not want that. That's bold, though I did not want it, and yet he was like you have to, like you have to. And so I just started and it just continued.

Speaker 3:

Here we are Listening to a sermon at church. I can't remember if it was Pastor Manny O'Ringo or it was Travis Travis Green, but they were talking about you know how, like Peter's name was changed, a lot of the disciples' name were changed, and he was saying their names weren't really changed. It was their original names, that God had called them.

Speaker 3:

So it's like not what the world called them or their mom it's like it was like God brought them back to their original name. And I heard you say like you didn't wanna talk about it, like because, again, you're known for beauty and fashion and your audience is so broad. In short you're afraid to, kind of like, lose the little.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, and I did Like you do. The thing is, you do, and that's in the social media world. It's like how do you feel when you lose followers? Well, no, it's not. How do you feel when you lose followers? How do you feel when you lose thousands? And you not only lose thousands, but you also don't have the same sort of engagement with people as you did before. So it's like also which this is kind of deep, but it's a real thing. It's also like once I changed the way that people were able to categorize me or use me, which was idolizing my hair, idolizing like my life, idolizing anyone. Yeah, they didn't want me anymore. So it's like I had really created lipstick and curls into an idol and I had presented that to people, my goodness, and they picked it up. It also became an idol for me, so I had to break it down.

Speaker 2:

And that's why God said no more.

Speaker 3:

But I have a question, because God talks to us, god tells us to do a lot of things, all the things here we are, and usually we say no, like, oh, we keep going regardless. So what made you say yes to something you didn't? Because, again, just because it's God don't mean we just be like yep and do it.

Speaker 2:

And what made you say, In addition to that question before you answer is have you always even been so strong in your faith?

Speaker 1:

Absolutely not so, because I know you talked about that too.

Speaker 2:

So that's something in conjunction with the question, because, for someone not to be that strong in their faith and to hear God and say I know this is your voice and I'm still going to obey.

Speaker 3:

That's a double whammy right now.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's the view Been in it don't follow. Well, and that's the thing. I think, why God is being so specific with me and using me in this way, is because he built me up in this platform to be one thing and this is the thing. Lipstick and Curls was a blessing at a time. So it's like understanding when it's time to move, like when the cloud moves, you go with the cloud. So it's like at its season, lipstick and Curls was this platform, this avenue that allowed me freedom of expression and to build a name for myself, but also to support my family and buy a home and take care of my. You know what I mean. That did so many things. But it also came with this other side of it, which came with entitlement, which came with, like, I had a lot of, yes, people around me and kind of started feeling myself to a certain degree. And it wasn't until, like, wifehood and motherhood came in the door where I was like, oh, I'm not, like, I'm not, it's humbling, it's humbling, it's very humbling. So, like to the point of like.

Speaker 1:

You know, I grew up considering myself a Christian, but I didn't grow up going to church. I did not see myself as somebody who, even I never did Bible studies like that. I never was not that person. I was not. But I will say that throughout my whole life, I always had this special connection with God that I would notice and I understood, but I didn't have the language for so, like, I always talked to him, but I, in my mind, it was like me talking to myself, but it wasn't. It was because I, for some reason, I always felt like there was something there responding in a way, and it wasn't with words, but I just knew that I wasn't just talking to myself, it was something bigger.

Speaker 1:

So, fast forward, when I even took the leap to just do lipstick and curls full-time, which was in 2016, I had, I was in my last semester of grad school and so I was like, okay, I guess I got to go get a real job now, because I, because I had been building lipstick and curls since you know, like 2010. And you know, yeah, a long time, okay, a long time, and I really wasn't getting paid, like there wasn't, no, there wasn't this concept of like being able to do it for a living, you know. And so I didn't have that anticipation. But but, as I got closer and closer to actually deciding to go full-time.

Speaker 1:

It was like this like thing in my stomach and my soul was just like you do this. And God made other things that I was trying to go do uncomfortable, that the things that I thought I wanted. I was like going into these spaces and I'm like, oh my God, I hate this. Oh my God, I hate this. And I've been dreaming these things up for years and you know I would always kind of invalidate lipstick and curls because I'm like at that time I'm like I don't want to tell people I do YouTube and they're like what is YouTube Like?

Speaker 3:

what do you mean?

Speaker 1:

you do YouTube. But I'm like, even I tell the story, I'll tell them, like you think it was only like 40 years old. Yeah, well, well, yeah, at that time. But even in, even in 2016, I was not telling people. It was like my two worlds, that I had my internet life and my real life, and I would not tell people because I would just be embarrassed by it for some reason. I don't know. It's a weird thing. I feel like old school YouTubers would understand this, but like.

Speaker 3:

It's like a very telling people. You have a podcast.

Speaker 2:

My daughter, literally two days ago she was like Mom, I really don't know how to tell people what you do. Got it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, right, it's a thing, so it's still very fresh and new in a certain way. So, like I would not tell people, even though I had this large following already, and like people knew me from this, but I did not tell people. And so when all these things were kind of like going awry, I was like, okay, I actually was about to quit lip sticking curls in 2015, like the end of 2015. That's a whole nother story. But I was basically like I'm going to put lip sticking curls down so I can focus on my career, because I got to do so. I'm a grown up. Like I got to. What was the career? The career was actually in student affairs and higher education.

Speaker 3:

Okay, so like my yeah.

Speaker 1:

So, like I had my master's in education policy and leadership focusing on, like, student affairs, I wanted to be a VP of student affairs. I wanted to go get my PhD, I wanted to do all this stuff right. All these plans were not his plans clearly.

Speaker 1:

So so, yeah, so I going through my last semester, it's getting worse and worse and worse. At this point I'm still like I'm kind of not doing lip sticking curls anymore. I need to focus. And then I literally get an email from an agency asking me if I wanted to be in a Colgate commercial. And I'm like, Huh, yes, For what? And then, like, and then they were like looking for beauty bloggers and I kept telling them I'm like I'm a YouTuber, Like I don't, I'm not a blogger. I mean, I have a website but I'm not a blogger. And they're like we don't care. And I, and so we were shooting this, you know, international commercial for Colgate in Miami, and Mariana Hewitt is like the co, the other girl that they got, and I didn't even know who Mariana was. She like the biggest beauty blogger in the world. I don't even know who she is, yeah, and so you know she's got her photographer, she's got, you know, her team and stuff at the set.

Speaker 3:

And I'm like she's showing up Like hello, hey, hey.

Speaker 1:

And I asked the agency people I'm like, how did y'all like find me? And like, how did you? Because I didn't have management at this time I had let go of my manager at the time and they were just like we sent like 200 names to the brand and they picked you. Yeah, and I was like, okay, guys. So I'm there and I'm like sitting in front of the cameras and it's like I've never been on a set like this before. I never experienced. But I was just like I felt a peace and like a very comfort there. I was not nervous and I was just like, oh, my gosh, damay, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And and yeah.

Speaker 1:

So one thing led to another. I get back home and then I get a cold email from this woman who ends up becoming my manager. She's based in LA and then, literally a week or two later, I meet my husband, the man who would become my husband, and then he found me because he was looking for influencers for his job for Nike. So like it was like okay, god, if you, I mean, what else can you tell me to?

Speaker 1:

do so, that's one thing after another going well where I was like all right, so I guess I'm not supposed to get a real job. I guess I'm supposed to like be lips A traditional job. Now I'm comfortable saying it's a real job. Okay. Contact creation is not you know for the word Okay. But back then, especially, I was still like parents who just paid for my graduate school. Are y'all going to be okay? But they were Okay, my dad, y'all my dad was like what did you think about doing this before?

Speaker 1:

I was trying to make you proud you didn't say that when you were signing these checks for this private institution education, but anyway. So yeah, I just and. But that was the first time that I really took a leap of faith and follow what God was telling me and actually I would say halfway recognized that it was God. I was still like, okay, I think it's always that uncertainty. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

When you are fully certain, then you don't have any faith to lead away.

Speaker 1:

Right, you know what I mean, I mean in my you know, kind of like non, I guess, baby Christian E not really baby, not really. You know, like I didn't know, I didn't, I didn't have friends that were, that was not my world. So like I was just like, okay, I guess I'm just going to go with my gut, I'm going to do the thing that I'm scared of and just go with it. And, lo and behold, like I recognize later that that was signs in that season, showed me that like, oh, when that's how God moves for me, that's how he communicates with me, those are the things that in little ways that I remember, like personal things where I'm like okay, god, like when you start moving like this, when my life starts looking like this, that's how I know you want me to do something.

Speaker 1:

So, bringing it all the way back to this season, for me it's like he started doing things like that he started allowing things to get real uncomfortable and I was like, oh, this feels like that season, yeah, but this time it was, you know, a totally different version and it was like it wasn't just about me. It was like my husband, my kids, like my livelihood, like my brand, and it was like I knew that he had given me the platform, but now he was like I need it back and I was like that's a word of a soul, it is.

Speaker 3:

And people like to think that's not God. They think if he's giving you something, it's got to go forever.

Speaker 1:

It's like you got to go where the cloud goes. And, honestly, when he says, give it back to me, like you know, like Abraham, and you know what I mean like that whole story is the same. It's like are you going to give it back? And if you do, he'll redeem it and make it more and all those things. So I am trusting and expecting him to do the same now and, honestly, now that I'm here, I do feel more confident, more sure of myself. I'm a healed person now.

Speaker 1:

So now when I do things with my platform, there's just a different level of me involved in it and it feels so good and I think, like if I could have told myself before the rebrand and all that, like I would tell myself it's going to feel good again, it's going to feel like you again. It's just you're going through a season of transformation, so what you like now you're not going to like then and the things that you like then will not be things you like now. And so you have to trust that. Like, if you feel resistance, go, keep going. You got to just keep going, yeah.

Speaker 3:

How did that affect you with? Like the friends? Like you talk about losing followers. And when you change your life style, like how did it affect your friends?

Speaker 1:

Well, I did lose some friends along the way, but the interesting thing of the timing of this too was like with COVID, it was like you know right.

Speaker 2:

Everybody. Everybody lost friends yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because it really showed you like who's really about that life and who's about you, and for us, like we were living in Portland for a time and we had this like incredible, like young couples, professionals, like community that we had built and loved them so much. But when we left Portland, that broke, you know, not broken a sense of we're not friends anymore, but it was like we're not going to each other's house every week it changed the dynamic right.

Speaker 1:

So and so like, when we came back to Dallas, we're both, you know, we have roots here, so we, you know we knew people, but we had changed. So it was like I'm not interested in rekindling all my friendships from before and I'm also there's a. For whatever reason, god is keeping that separation and when we would try to reconnect or try to do things in our old lives, it just would not work out, wouldn't stick. So we got very isolated and and sometimes that sucked. But also it kind of cleared the field for like the community that we have now, which has been so like a blessing and so fruitful, and just like the type of friends that I'm so grateful for but I couldn't have had prior to this kind of evolution of myself and even of my husband, like we've been very vocal and public about our transformation and like it's real. It's like people go but like again, god redeems and so it's like if you want friendship, you're going to get that 10 times full space for him.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, to do it with the right people. Like I'm having a moment right now because literally I would say right before I left to come film this God. I was sitting in a worship um in a worship moment and I was just kind of being still and God kept saying I'm going to replace it before you even lose it, and it just kept coming and it kept coming and I'm hearing you speak and it's even hearing that it sounds good.

Speaker 2:

Right, it sounds like, oh my gosh, I won't even recognize before it's lost. But now, hearing you speak, I think it's something to even like. Go a little bit further with the people who feel like I've lost it, but it's already been replaced. Yeah, Like before you even knew that it was like it was already there.

Speaker 3:

You don't have to see it. You don't have to see it. It just means, god's already done.

Speaker 1:

It's already done, and that's the thing I feel like was a big game changer for me too was like when I stopped thinking that I had to make it all happen, right, like you got to go out and get it. Well, really, when you're a daughter of the king, no, you don't, you just don't. And so it's like how, how much stress do we carry on a regular basis thinking that it's on us?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like it's our burden, like it's our thing to lift up, carry, take to the. It's really not, and I've allowed that not just to penetrate my professional life, but also like my home life and like parenting, especially like me and God parent together. Yeah, okay, we are locked steps, like you, the daddy too, yes. You're the daddy too, like you fill up the gaps, like you know, in a real way, because, like I realized once I started integrating in one section of my life, god wants it all.

Speaker 1:

So he's kind of like right, he's like I want it all and he's not going to push you, he's just going to be like I'm waiting on you, but I want it all. Yeah, like, so you do it on your time. Yeah, it can take you two days, it can take you 20 years, but like it's on your time. Now, enter in wherever you open the door for me. That's how it works.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so we could like parent parenthood. I feel like practically as moms, we all know that when you're reinventing yourself and you're, when you're going through the journey and adding parenting and just you just had like two fresh babies pretty much back to back. Yes, Like all of that in the same time.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

What is that like? Because you also mentioned like postpartum.

Speaker 3:

You're rebranding yeah.

Speaker 1:

So it's like rebranding my everything. It was hard. I had to go to therapy. I had to because, like in the beginning of the transformation, the real, true like change my name, part of it, which was more of the latter, but kind of like the most intense. Like 20, I want to say 2022. No, no, no, 2020 because we're in 2023 now.

Speaker 1:

So 2021, it was the. It was the fall time, it was like October, and it was right after. Yeah, it was right after I had my son. My son Micah was born July 2021 and I changed my name October 2021 because it was very short after.

Speaker 3:

So literally postpartum Displays 있�. Maybe change of my life? It'll do it. It'll do it.

Speaker 1:

Change of my life, okay, change of my whole life and so, like that's when I kind of started, that's when I first chopped my hair, like the first chop, which my hair used to be like down to here, curly, yes, so it was long and huge and that was my namesake and everything. Clearly I'm like ball head era and I love it. Okay, just FYI, thank you. But I chopped it to like above my shoulders and that was kind of the first iteration of the rebrand and kind of just the new me and wearing it straight, and wearing it straight, you're saying girls, girls, girls, girls, girls.

Speaker 2:

No more curls. Yes.

Speaker 1:

There's so much work, so much work and when I had the time it was great, I loved it and I love natural hair. Like the thing is, I love anything beauty. Like I'm just obsessed with different looks and different, just how you can transform into like different sides of you with a different hairstyle. Like I'm obsessed with that. That is like that was the, that was the meat and potatoes of lipstick and curls, which was like be whoever you want to be in. The essence of even lip sticking curls, which is still evident for me now, is like be who you are and just enhance. It's not about completely transforming the way you look to be something else or be somebody else, but it's about how do I exude like the inner person best out outwardly and so, like I've always had that essence in lip sticking curls, and even till now. So it's like my hair has always been like a representation of like where I am as a person and you know so.

Speaker 1:

When I started chopping the hair, people noticed obviously when I started wearing it straight, it was like I wanted to make it clear this is not about me not loving natural hair or curly hair or even my own hair or my own. It's not about that. It was behind closed doors. I was burning it down in idle, so like I had to do that and I had to, and literally God was like you, don't wear your hair curly. Because it was tempting, even when my hair was short and I would wear it curly. It was tempting for me to fall back into who lip sticking curls was and because that was just my natural habit. So even through this process it's hard. It was hard because my natural instinct is to still do a beauty tutorial. My natural instinct is to still, which I think is still fine because now you're wearing the same.

Speaker 1:

Now, yes, but in that season, you yes, and not like this thing that I had built and that. But I had to take a break. I had to, like you know, work through that Because it wasn't like I could just decide today that I was Jay Godboat and tomorrow still be okay to do no, because you would have just been convincing yourself it's different Because you changed your name.

Speaker 3:

Yes, it's different, but it wasn't it wasn't.

Speaker 1:

It wasn't. So I had to get rid of the thing my hair that was pulling me back into doing and that's going to be different for everybody. What is that thing? And a lot of times it's like people don't want to look at it because it's like it brings you so much, but it's like I made money from my hair.

Speaker 1:

Like I made money from my face. I made money from these, this beauty, content, and so when God was like change, shift, I was just like I'm going to lose brand deals. And I did. Yeah, am I going to lose opportunities? Yeah, I did, because I wasn't being what people associated me to be anymore and that was hard.

Speaker 1:

That was a whole thing in itself because it's like, you know, like whenever God is like, you know, to the rich young ruler, give me everything, tell yourself stuff, go and follow me, and he'd like nah, like, people are like yeah, it's not and it don't make sense and it's so scary. It's so scary, but it's him because you're like okay, god, if you're doing this and you're telling me to do this, I have to believe that you're going to provide for me along this journey and I can't allow even my hair to be what I rely on. Like I know, if I do a bomb hair tutorial and do this, I know like the brands are going to notice and I'm going to be able to do this and I know how to work that I had to stop doing that because it was removing space for God to do what he was trying to do.

Speaker 2:

Right, and I listened to your daughter too, as you evolve, almost like teaching her and if she's young, but like you're literally evolving in front of her eyes and teaching her how to like. Let God strip you completely because it's totally different and I know kids are young but they notice. They notice like how we even change in our mannerism. Yes, we do, and I think it's just very, very like cool to see. I'm sure, yeah, like your daughter.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh well, she, and she definitely notices, because I mean, she wants to do everything I do, right, and she wants to do her makeup.

Speaker 1:

And even now it's like me and my husband like produce a podcast and we like do content all the time.

Speaker 1:

And she's like, are you going to the photo shoot today or are you doing the podcast today?

Speaker 1:

And I tell her, yeah, no, and I bring her in, like I'm honest with her because I'm like she's going to grow up with like, first off, the fact that my daughter is going to grow up with a healed Jade is like already like different the fact that she's going to grow up with like a healed dad, which is already so beyond what I could ever imagine for her. So now it's like I really see like my journey as a mom, as like this journey that I take with my kids, of like being very transparent and honest about what it means to be a woman and showing them like the ebbs and flows of that, but not from a place of like toxicity and like unhealed trauma, but from a place of like grace and like mercy and just being this gentle comforter that they know as, and they can see elements of God in as their mom. You know what I mean and like even the way that I treat my husband like I was not always gentle, I wasn't always like sweet, you know.

Speaker 1:

And that's what I was going to ask. What's been the?

Speaker 3:

evolution of your relationship from like the beginning. Like did you guys both evolve? Like was, were you guys in tandem?

Speaker 1:

the whole time.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, like, how did that?

Speaker 1:

Well, really it was. It's funny Like we've really been in tandem really. He's always set the tone, though. Like my husband grew up in church like Wednesday night, friday, saturday, sunday, like he was in it. But when he got older he actually experienced abuse from a pastor when he was like in his teenage years, and he's shared this publicly. Now he tries to help other men kind of like talk through and walk through this journey of healing from, like you know, a porn addiction, being abused, sexually abused as a kid and as a you know, a teenage boy by another man, all that kind of stuff. So he walked into his adult years with a lot of like church hurt and also was just like I'm not here for this and with yo I mean and and. But the thing is, in his core he always had a love for God that like no one could disrupt for him. So even he never even took his first drink until he was like 23. Me, on the other hand, I was 12.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so like I'm a different type, okay, I had a different upbringing, Okay, but I say all that to say like he really essentially started. Essentially he went out into the world and was like the wayward son, Like he was out in these streets and especially working for a brand like Nike. He was like out here and very much so like living it up, and it wasn't until we met that we both were like at the peak of both of our experiences in those worlds. Like me as a beauty blogger, beauty influencer, flying all over LA, New York every other week shooting content, shooting with brands, like doing campaigns, all of that and getting flown out with brands like going on trips, all these things.

Speaker 1:

No, no, no no like seriously, we were really like living that life and even him with Nike, like you know, just having the access and the you know being around certain types of athletes and people and things. We were both like very much so in our own will and our own kind of ego, pride all that and we met like that and loved each other like that. But we also had some toxicity in that Right. So, like the fact that we found each other, I think that was the enemy's greatest attack was trying to keep us away, like cause he knew when we met we might have been a mess, but together like we have grown tremendously. I we talk about all the time we're like if we ourselves met each other, met us, back then we wouldn't, like, us Like we wouldn't want to hang out we want to be like oh, they're laying they're boring, they don't do nothing Like we would have been.

Speaker 1:

That would have been the relationship, but I just I'm so grateful because, like God really gave me a man that led me into this and one of my biggest moments in my like spiritual walk has was this one time when we were in a fight and and and I was just I mean giving it to him.

Speaker 2:

He was like giving it like oh man, oh, you already know, you already know when you already riled up.

Speaker 3:

And I didn't even forget anything.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I didn't even forget anything. It was one of them. One of them ones, Okay, and I just gave it to him and he looked at me and he just gave me a hug and said I love you and I was like what you doing with this.

Speaker 2:

My husband has to believe that we're here as well, but you said sorry, too soon, right, and then you don't know what to do.

Speaker 1:

I was dumbfounded and I was like that's the first time I experienced God's grace from a person in a moment, and it changed me, and that was literally I was pregnant with Micah, so this was a few months before the name change and everything. But that was like a cornerstone change that got me on the path, because it was like, yeah, we had been talking about church, we had been watching TC Transformation Church faithfully since like 2018. But it's different when it's like you're learning about God and learning about Jesus and hearing somebody talk to you about it. You take notes and things like that. But when you start, it's a high tense situation and then you actually operate with one of the fruits of the spirit. It's like a game changer. And so that's where we got and it just shifted both of us and so we kept growing. We had a season where God was like every Wednesday, y'all got to be together. You can't do no work, can't do no this. And y'all got to be together and y'all got to do devotion together every day. So we started proud.

Speaker 2:

I'm like, hey, god, you're giving me a lot of instructions. I was mad. You gave me a man. Yes, you gave me a man, and of course, all these instructions are coming from my husband.

Speaker 1:

And I'm like God touch you that. You didn't tell you that, I'm pretty sure, because I just had a baby and I would love to go back to doing what lipstick and curls do, but that was part of it. It was like I had to recognize the God operating in my husband and really trust and submit and I was kicking and screaming for a lot of that. I was, I really was, but that's good to admit. No, truly, because it wasn't cute, pretty. I'm sorry, I'm not one of those people that just effortlessly walked through. No, it was hard, it was hard.

Speaker 2:

I think what social media is too. It's easy for people to see Even us doing this talk if we didn't say yo, it's still very difficult to do the thing, and because they start to think well, maybe it looks so pretty and it looks so good that maybe I can't do it Because I'm struggling too much.

Speaker 3:

Like I'm kicking and screaming a little too much. No, you're not, you just got to keep going. That can't be gone because it would be easy. No, it would be easy. It's actually going to be hard. It would all just fall in my lap.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely not. Obedience is hard, but obedience is better than sacrifice. So I'd rather obey than give up something that I don't want to give up because I don't want to listen, and that was part of it was like I wrestled with the obedience part. I mean, it was a point where, even a year or two ago, my husband has had ministry prophesied over him since he was a little kid, but he didn't care, he kept doing what he wanted.

Speaker 3:

But yeah, it don't matter.

Speaker 1:

So he had that on him. I never got that. I've never been in spaces to even have that spoken on me or anything like that. But his mom started bringing it up around the time when we came back to Dallas because we started being around family again and there was a point where I was just like do not say the M word in this house. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear nobody's first lady, because my version was like I don't go to church, like that, I'm not in that world. That's not me and I really was very not with it at all. And but also it's like I was scared because I'm like I don't want to be that version, I don't want to be.

Speaker 1:

But it was like I said earlier, it's like the thing you want before your transformation is not the thing that you want. You know what I mean. Like it's like not going to be what you expect. It's not going to be, you know, and so and I'm finally at the place where I'm like I actually realize that, like my desires are matched up with God and I'm so grateful to be here now because it's way harder when you're fighting for God wants, because his will is going to come, like it's going to pass, it's. You can't fight it, you can't avoid it, you have to just go for it.

Speaker 1:

And it's about how you want to manage through it, like, do you want to kick and scream the whole time or do you want to just like? You know, and that's how it's been for me, it's like I've kicked and screamed but also I'm like I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to push into it, push into the resistance, and know that, like God is telling me to do this, he has to sustain it. If I'm building it on him like he's going to maintain it, like he's going to, and I'm just stewarding, I'm not responsible for any of this stuff. It's not my burden to carry, it's his and I'm just. You know, I'm just doing my thing and there's grace for me along the journey and that's it, you know did you ever feel like there was a place where you got stuck?

Speaker 1:

Hmm.

Speaker 2:

And you had to like, literally crawl.

Speaker 1:

Oh man, I think, honestly, if I could say, if there was like I don't think there was necessarily a part of my journey that has been like a stuck moment, it's definitely been a.

Speaker 1:

Well, I think I'm not giving myself enough credit, because I think like even the amount I've changed in like two or three years has been very exponential compared to other people's journey. And not to be comparative in that way, but to tell myself like I thought I was crawling and dragging myself and in all actuality I was walking swiftly, yeah, and even though it felt like a drag doubt, you know, I'm getting dragged to your drag there in my body, like spiritually, I was just filling myself up everywhere I could go and like, yes, in the beginning I did not want to listen to worship music 24 seven. I was actually irritated like Mark Mark would literally oh, my God, I knew something else. Yes, it was a. It was a season where he was playing it 24 seven in our house and I was just like my God, if I hear this Mavisiddhi song one more time, I'm just not.

Speaker 3:

That was like the only worship music that existed.

Speaker 2:

Especially with New Christian.

Speaker 3:

Yes, new.

Speaker 2:

Christian Like Mavisiddhi is Christian. This way there's like another New.

Speaker 1:

Christian oh my gosh. Yes and so. But I realized later on as I grew it was like it wasn't. It was me that was, that didn't like it, but it was also the spirits in me that I still needed to get out that still were making their way out.

Speaker 3:

And so music speaks to you. Yes, Consciousness really moves you, 100% the spirits. They didn't like that, they did not like it, they didn't hear it.

Speaker 1:

No, they did not, they absolutely did not, and so I had to. You didn't hear it that far.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't want to be tribe by the fact. No, listen, don't purify me Right.

Speaker 3:

That far. Okay, you have to ask it that far, oh my.

Speaker 1:

God, yes, like no, please don't Cause.

Speaker 1:

I think like it's the other piece of it, too right, when you think about like what God has planned out for you and your purpose and all the enemy can do is like delay it or, like you know, distract you or whatever.

Speaker 1:

And I think a lot of people stay distracted because the distractions are so comfortable and work so well, and even sometimes the distractions used to be God's blessings, but now we've kept running with the ball and we were supposed to pass it, you know, two, three years ago. So, like you're now, you're out of step and all of that. It's like you have to recognize that like the path for you is going to be better than what you can imagine, what you can put together for yourself. It is beyond what you, you have the capacity to understand. And if you're not doing that, then you're always going to fall into seasons where it's just like this don't feel right, this don't look right, this, this thing that I built, it was great and then it just crashed down and like why am I going back and forth? Why, yeah, and like Lord is like I was trying to get your attention before you took that left turn and started building something that I wasn't involved. I never told you to do.

Speaker 3:

And then if you don't do it, your kids have like generational curses. So it's like if you do try to avoid it and you make it to 60, 70, whatever, like it don't leave your family, no, it's on. Some Children now go through the whole process.

Speaker 1:

Yes, and it's always going to be harder. It's always going to be harder for them because it's like the generational curse yes, and then I'm going to have to get a backpedal before I can start really pedaling. And like the enemy is after you generationally, so he's been trying to come for you since way back when. Okay, and he knows your lineage better than you do. And I think like that's one of the worst misconceptions are not worse, maybe most dangerous ones.

Speaker 1:

It's like especially our age and like our generation is like well, if I make the decision, it's about my life and about my kids. And it's like, hold on, you play in a game. You think it's checkers. It's really chess, yeah, and the enemy's been playing chess with your family specifically because he saw you coming down the pipeline 20 generations ago and he's like, however, I can move these pieces to make sure that she don't get to where she's supposed to be at that time with that person, then great, I'm going to give her more of this because she likes it, and I know she liked it because her grandma like it, and you know what I mean, all of that stuff.

Speaker 1:

So it's like the this whole like concept of like just focusing on the right now and like, just, your life is just. It's such a misconception and a deception for our like generation because we think, well, I'm just going to do what I want to do, and it's like, baby, no, there's a bigger game. I didn't bigger game, there's a bigger plan at play. That like, if you don't do your part, then God's will going to get done with girl. It's like, let's believe he going to make it happen. But it could have been you, yep.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and that's very important, because crystal where my girl Christmas you know, I talked about this once and people think what's for you will always be for you, but it's, it's about God, yeah.

Speaker 2:

God will find somebody else.

Speaker 3:

Yes, Because it's for his glory, not your glory so you don't want to listen Period.

Speaker 2:

It's fine.

Speaker 3:

It doesn't mean he won't find something good for you when you get there.

Speaker 2:

But yeah he'll give it to somebody.

Speaker 1:

Yes, he'll give it to somebody else, because if he, needs it done in that moment it's going to get done in that moment. Yeah, and it just it's not going to be with you and like that's my thing, I'm like let it be you. Like let it be you and don't miss out. Yeah, because you will miss out on something great if you don't align yourself with what God has for you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Wow, Well, before we wrap, because you have given us all the things plus the moms. Actually, honestly, I think this episode specifically is going to speak to all of our aunties yes, All like it's going to speak to every, every woman.

Speaker 3:

The husband's going to be going back around too.

Speaker 2:

It's literally going to be for everyone, because you're speaking about the way a woman evolves. Yes, and yes, there's motherhood and yes, there's, you know, being a wife. But there's something about when we submit to the transition, submit to evolving the way God always called us to. You know, evolve. And so my last thing, before we wrap this, is just going to ask you what would you say to a mom or just a woman in general that feels like they're right in that place, that you were right before you changed your name from lipstick and curls to jinko.

Speaker 1:

Okay, what would I say to you? If you're in that, like that place, do it afraid. Do it without a plan. Your plan is not going to work. It's not. You might as well give it up. God will tell you exactly what move to make every step of the way. Trust Him, guard your heart, guard your eyes, guard your ears, because the enemy is going to be coming after you and you've got to be ready for that. And the enemy will operate through people. So, if you have people that don't have faith, like you, start distancing. Hone in on the people that know what it is for real, and if it's one person, it's one person, and if it's no one, god will send help. God will send help. So just give yourself that space and do it afraid. Thank you, jay, thank y'all.

Speaker 2:

This is great, this is good, this is good, this is really good, thank you guys for watching.

Speaker 3:

We really appreciate it. We hope you share with other mothers aunties, husbands. This episode you do not want anybody to miss out on it. So make sure when you're done, you subscribe, you like and share.

Speaker 2:

Make sure you subscribe, share it with someone, leave some comments.

Speaker 3:

Come on and get with us and all the things.

Speaker 2:

But thank you so much for watching moms. Actually we're mother, goodbyes sisterhood Bye.

Speaker 2:

Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, mom, my job is going to be Data exploration and in at the end I'm gonna low your PC, so I will have to imagine having email at least once. What's participate on the next day as I leave for sera. Well, we didn't have an躺v given winner and it was a student. It was, oh my gosh, how many hours.

People on this episode

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Blair Gyamfi

Co-host
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Morgan Taylor

Co-host