Moms Actually
Moms Actually is a motherhood community that aims to redefine motherhood and break away from the unhealthy expectations society has placed on women.
Our community provides spaces for women to authentically relate to each other in a society that often prioritizes appearances over genuine experiences.
We host a visual podcast that addresses the experiences of womanhood, sisterhood and motherhood through candid and transparent discussions We have discussed a range of topics, including marriage, dating, single motherhood, body image, miscarriage and child loss, blended families, the impact of social media, entrepreneurship, mental health and much more.
Watch or listen on MomsActually.com, YouTube and all podcast platforms. Join our community on Instagram and Facebook.
Moms Actually
How to Set Healthy Boundaries Ft. Massy Arias
Ready to be read for filth?? But in a good way… 👀
This conversation with Massy Arias, a health and fitness coach, is as real as it gets. If you want to figure out how to make positive changes in your life.. this will change your life.. We talk about:
- Massy’s experiences with pregnancy, fitness, and body image, and how they've shaped her personal growth.
- Setting boundaries and accountability for our well-being
- How to stick to our boundaries even when it's tough.
- Emotional intelligence, finding strength in vulnerability, and navigating relationships.
If you’re looking to thrive in life's many roles, this is a reminder that personal growth and community support can bring resilience (and even happiness) in the face of life's challenges.
★ New Episodes are released on Thursdays on YouTube and Podcast Platforms.
★ Did You Like What You Heard? Please Like, Comment, Share and Subscribe!
★ Interested in advertising? Email: heyma@momsactually.com
Want to Watch?
Follow Us on Instagram
Shop the Merch
Join our Facebook Community
Start making a relation between how you feel and what you do. Your brain is going to do the rest, hey mom what's up?
Speaker 2:What's up, hey mom. What's up, hey mom.
Speaker 3:What's up, hey mom? What's up, hey mom, what's up? Welcome to Moms. Actually, I'm Blair and I'm Morgan, and this is our special guest, our favorite guest of the day, masi Arias.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys. Thank you for having me. Did I get it right?
Speaker 3:Yes, Masi, as you can get without an accent.
Speaker 4:Right, she's like I didn't have to do the accent, but I did it, right, woo.
Speaker 3:I love you. Masi, yes, can you tell us a little bit about yourself for the one and a half people that may not know? You Like brag on yourself a little bit.
Speaker 1:I don't brag. Ok, I try to level with absolutely everyone and I believe this is what I do. Ok, I am a health and fitness coach. I work mostly with females a lot of moms and I help women change their lifestyles through behavioral change, through a better understanding and perception on their relationship with exercise and nutrition and mental health.
Speaker 3:Very clear.
Speaker 2:I like that I like that. I'm like.
Speaker 4:I need to figure out my life. I get it. I immediately like, hey, how do I sign up? I literally just got really intrigued?
Speaker 3:Yes, well, you can tell this is going to be an interesting conversation. I am ready for it, but before we start, make sure you subscribe. Take a moment, pause. Subscribe, yes, thank you. Ok, and now we're going to get started. So you were interested in the paddles. Yes, so I'm going to actually tell you what these paddles are.
Speaker 4:If you guys are new here, you get to know what this is too. But all my OGs, y'all know this is. It's giving motherhood, and this is when we just do a rapid fire. So I'm going to ask a question, blair and I. The first answer is the right answer. Ok, so first question when I ask the question, yes is gold or the first choice and white is no or the second choice, this is like pickleball. No, oh, all right, she's like we're about to do a sport. Nope, we're just going to hear here.
Speaker 1:And we're going to know.
Speaker 4:Yes, yes, or the first choice, and then no, or the second choice. Ok, let's go. All right. Was your pregnancy planned or was it a surprise?
Speaker 3:My first one was a surprise. My second one was like fake plans.
Speaker 4:OK, oh right, ok yeah, mine wasn't planned.
Speaker 1:It wasn't planned, it was a surprise.
Speaker 4:Surprise, the best surprise has been right, the best surprise.
Speaker 3:Yes, I would say, the very, very first time I got pregnant, the one that happened with the miscarriage, I was not. It was not a good surprise.
Speaker 2:I didn't want to be pregnant.
Speaker 3:I just got married. I just wanted to be married. I was so sad, yeah, and then I got pregnant again after that, but I think it was because of the hormones made me feel like somebody needs to be pregnant, yeah, so you actually tried to get pregnant the second time. I did not try.
Speaker 4:You were like I'm not going to stop it, yeah.
Speaker 3:And then with Colby, I was like I'm getting to the geriatric pregnancy age, so if this is going to happen, it's going to happen, got you, it's not You're like, I'm not going to stop it.
Speaker 1:Exactly you got it OK, yep, what about you? Mine wasn't, oh you.
Speaker 2:Go ahead.
Speaker 1:Ok, no Mine wasn't planned, but I welcomed it.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:And I'm glad.
Speaker 3:What was your face when you found out?
Speaker 4:I don't really know. I thought it was that I was just like very blank, Got it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I was happy, yeah, and so it was a blessing. Yeah, it was I always. I maybe manifested it OK, because I said I was going to be pregnant by 28. And it happened at 28.
Speaker 3:So you planned it yeah.
Speaker 4:She was like in my mind In the weird way I did yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah In my mind, but I guess it does happen.
Speaker 4:Well, I already said I'd be pregnant. I mean surprise surprise, surprise.
Speaker 3:I figured you didn't plan at least the first one. Definitely not the first one, but she was 19 when she got pregnant the first time. And how was?
Speaker 2:that.
Speaker 4:It was crazy, but that crazy was crazy. It was crazy, but no, it was a surprise, especially with all of my health things that I've had going on. So I truly did not think I could get pregnant, but yeah, I did it.
Speaker 1:Three times, three times. But isn't it better to get it out when you're young? Yeah, that way you can just experience that.
Speaker 4:I will say I'm very glad that I'm like three and done now because I'm 32. And everybody's like you're done, yep, I'm good and I can still. Now I can really focus on my 30s and then focus on them, you know. No, and not raising a brand new newborn.
Speaker 1:That was my plan in my head In your head. I planned it OK, at this time I'll go to school, I'll do this and by this time I'm ready to have a child.
Speaker 4:And yeah, it just didn't happen, not the way you thought it would, but it's happening. Yeah, dish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes.
Speaker 4:Kind of.
Speaker 3:Have you ever struggled with your body image after having a child? Yes, after my second, yes, yeah, what was your struggle?
Speaker 1:After having a child, my struggle was the opposite the perception of being. Let me backtrack.
Speaker 2:I had a six-pack when I was six months pregnant.
Speaker 1:We know OK, so my pregnancy was really controversial, but I was healthy. I was just at the fittest ever in my core. I carry a lot of muscle in my core, so it was just like a corset, right, yes? So after having my child nine days in, I had a four-pack. Yeah, right, and I received a lot of backlash. Wow, and it was horrible. Society is so cruel. And I felt that I had the need to explain myself and it was just yeah.
Speaker 3:But I'm sorry, I have a four-pack and not a six-pack.
Speaker 4:Right, yeah, but people just want to be mad. Well, yeah, I have a four-pack and not a fupa. I'm so sorry, yeah.
Speaker 1:But I put on most of my weight breastfeeding OK, and most people didn't see that. Ok, I went up all the way to like 180. Yeah, wow, and I'm a pretty petite. Yes, I'm tall but I'm pretty petite. Yes, and it was the opposite. Like I never cared. All I wanted, I wanted so bad to breastfeed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had in my mind that I was going to breastfeed up until like I was two years old. I was going to be that mom popping the boob and it happened for me. Oh, ok, because young, when I was younger, I had a breast augmentation and I was lied to. My breasts were put over the muscle and I've been delaying this procedure for a very long time. I have to do another procedure and it's been years how they just lied to you.
Speaker 3:It's over 10 years Because that's a whole big deal, yeah, I have them minor under the muscle, and that was actually my body image issue. They kept getting bigger, yeah.
Speaker 1:But they lied to me because it was in Caribbean and I was young.
Speaker 3:I was so young.
Speaker 2:Oh my god.
Speaker 1:And I couldn't breastfeed. So it was like the opposite for me and everything that I wanted to do I just couldn't do, and I'm someone that I don't like drama yeah, I stay away from drama and I just wanted to connect, and connect in a way that was judgment free, even though I got maybe people's projections in their insecurities. Obviously, I have a really positive try. But I was exposed to everyone and everything. So I had the positives, I also had the negatives.
Speaker 4:But you live and you learn.
Speaker 1:No, I don't need to block anyone, you just leave your urges. Because eventually people are just going to have their opinions. The way you react, the way that you carry yourself, it's like you're not going to at least, I don't try to respond in an unkind way, it's usually the opposite and then that person is going to be like whoa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wasn't expecting that. I was like let me treat them.
Speaker 3:I'm a really positive tribe, and that's what they mean.
Speaker 4:You do respond, you just don't respond. Just kindly, just kindly.
Speaker 1:Because, at the end of the day, you don't know what that person has been taught. You don't know their emotional state, you don't know their lives, so of course they're just going to be open. So the way that you respond is the way that you teach. Yeah, so maybe you just turn them around and now they're just a fan. Yeah, and they're just not even a fan, they're just now. You can relate, now you can talk and say like are you okay, what's?
Speaker 3:going on, and then they have nothing to come back with either, because, you know me, I like to throw people for a loop that way too, and they don't have anything to say after that, because they're ready to go back?
Speaker 4:Yeah, go back, and forth Maybe.
Speaker 1:I need to heal. When you approach things with love, with honesty, with kindness, usually that is what you get back. I am that person. I am very positive.
Speaker 4:Yes, I've gathered that Is motherhood different than you expected, I would say here.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 4:I think it's because I don't know what I expected. Like I read the book what to Expect when You're Expecting yeah, my mom got it from I mean I was 19. So she's like here, read this book and you do all the things. But to the point of why we even started this, those books and stuff like that talk about the baby. They talk about what your body is doing and what the baby is doing inside your body and how to feed the baby, how to clothe it. Everything is focused around the baby. So I didn't know what to expect motherhood wise, other than like, of course, seeing what my mom and aunt and grandma did. But I still was like OK, maybe I'll repeat some of these things, maybe I won't, but there was no true idea of what I had in my mind, other than maybe TV, but still again, that's.
Speaker 4:TV. What about you?
Speaker 1:Nobody gives you a handbook to your mom and everything. I had to eat my words because I used to see the way you know parenthood was. I would never do that.
Speaker 1:I would never, do that I would never do that and then caught myself doing that. So once I became a mom, it's like a hood. Yes, you know, like all the children are my children, yeah, and I'm here for it, and it's a hood, so I understand how hard it is, how it's very individual to every single human or parent, how we are going to be different and not judge. Yes and yeah, it's completely different than I imagined.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm going to say I didn't really have a lot of examples. I didn't grow up seeing anybody but my mom and like I love you mom, but she, you know, she raised me like she had like a parenting book and was like checking everything off. So I was just like I don't know. But we're going to figure it out. And of course there's the things like I swear, I was like no screen time and I'm like them, ipads, these.
Speaker 1:CB saved my life in moments that I need them.
Speaker 3:You know it's just.
Speaker 3:You just realize everybody's trying to make it, make it Everybody's just trying to make it and we're all figuring it out and it's like it's what we talked about before. Some people try to give you insight and, especially when you're pregnant, sometimes you're like I got this, I'm going to figure it out, I don't need the unsolicited advice. And then you have the kid and it's like no one told me, no one told me, but you can't, you can't really win until you have the child. Sometimes you figure it out on your feet. You do your best, do your best.
Speaker 4:You do your best Figure out the rest, and sometimes it's you know Still not the best.
Speaker 3:Still not the best, but you get another day, yep, ok. Next question Are you surprised at the things you do now as a mom? Oh, versus the things you said you wouldn't do, like no excessive sugar juice iPads, like specific things? Well, clearly, mine's a yes, Because I said there were just going to be no screen time. Now my iPads stay charged. Ok, kind of yeah, I'll go here. Ok, what'd you stick to and what did you give into?
Speaker 1:I stick to health. Ok, yes, so, but it's hard to control.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:So it's hard to control because my daughter has two different homes and she is influenced by cousins or like she's the only child. So as soon as she saw my niece be picky about, oh I don't like this.
Speaker 3:That in the third there's options. I can have a few Like we can do that.
Speaker 1:Or when she got invited to her first birthday party and there's like a cake and you're just like, oh, ok.
Speaker 4:She's been keeping all this from me.
Speaker 1:So I went through the whole phase of sugar and candy and whatnot. But now that she's becoming older, the education. I spent a lot of time talking to her like she's an adult. If she was here, she's wise beyond her years. It's like she's a 10-year-old or an 11-year-old they're a teenager right. And as much as I spent on educating her, giving her examples and whatnot and I live that life, so she's going to emulate this. Like it's not that she doesn't have cakes or we may go and have pro-yo. But, it's not the norm.
Speaker 1:At home it's fruits, and it's gotten to a point like now, maybe the six months and on, she doesn't even ask for any candy. It's just like fruit. She goes to school with her fruit. Whether or not she has candy with her dad or whatnot, that's on her.
Speaker 3:But, with me we can control this.
Speaker 1:Screen time, though she'll have certain screen time. We watch movies. Or it'll be educational, or it'll be just for fun, because as an adult, how will you grow up? You need something mind-numbing for you to just relax Sometimes you need it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I like that mind-numbing. Yeah, Like we do it all the time, whether it's like ranging on TV or doing something different?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I find myself going back and forth. I'm not perfect, no, it is Right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I thought it'd be more strict about food and sweets and stuff like that. But then I realized it made sense of how I became because my parents were strict about that kind of stuff. But I actually opened them up to it because I realized if you deny them like purposely, then it's like they want it even more. So I think it's good she had the options, because then she got to choose what she wanted to do.
Speaker 3:Because now my kids, especially my son, like he doesn't want cakes or candies, like my daughter does sometimes, but it's out there in the open and they don't choose it all the time, so it doesn't feel like I hired my dad.
Speaker 4:I love that, ok. Last one, can you honestly say you have mastered keeping strong batteries for the sake of your own sanity? I was going to say I feel like you're going to say, yes, you have a whole. That's your lifestyle. Yeah, oh, so yes.
Speaker 3:Look at her face.
Speaker 1:She said she's like absolutely Boundaries with, whether it's friends, family, coworkers. Like I respect my boundaries and some people may see you as oh no, like people know, yeah, my friends and my family know I, yeah, you have to have the courage of being disliked. And that's actually a book that I recommend, if you guys have the courage to understand yourselves, having the courage of being disliked.
Speaker 1:I love that. But respecting yourself and your boundaries and what's important to you is going to make you a happy person. So I have boundaries, like after a certain time, that phone, I don't touch it. Whether that email gets sent now or gets sent tomorrow at 9, it doesn't really matter. So why am I going to obsess, yeah, or if I let's say I'm going to be a little bit more boundaries with my family, like I'm sorry, but this is something important to me and I cannot do X, y and Z and finally, people are gonna get upset in the beginning, but then they're gonna come around because they love you and that's important to you. So I don't mess with my boundaries.
Speaker 3:Boundaries need to be creative and if you're consistent with them, the issue is if you're not consistent with them because people can only continually do what you allow. So if one day you have the boundary and the one day you don't, you can't be mad at anybody. It's just so your kids will teach you that.
Speaker 4:I think that's why I said I haven't mastered it. I'm very good at my boundaries, but then I have moments where I'm like, well, you know what I mean. Like you said, oh, sending the email at nine versus right now. Sometimes I'm like, well, I could just do it really quick. Or you know, and I know that I'm not supposed to, because I've set that boundary, but I'll bend it a little bit.
Speaker 3:So, mastered, I'm taking that pretty literal and I would say no, my important boundaries I keep like the kids, not in my like stuff like that.
Speaker 4:I'm very yeah.
Speaker 3:My closed doors. But there are some that are flexible because they're like nice to have. But the ones I have I don't play about them Like ever, Because of my sanity.
Speaker 4:No okay Masi question, because you opened up and you were talking about what you do and you said something very intriguing to the both of us, because we're like, ooh, let's sign up. Everyone knows you as a fitness guru, like instructor, but I don't know that a lot of people know you for truly helping women change their lifestyle, whether it be behavioral you said health and then just mentally as well. Could you talk to us more about that, or are there other things that you're like? Okay, yeah, I do all of that, but these are some of the things that no one even understands that I do. That I would love to discuss.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so for the past 10, 11 years I've been building a community and the goal is that people can fly on their own at some point, that you're not hooking them to a point where they don't have the tools right. You want to be able to provide a service that, if you're coming back, is because you want something new, it's because something may be happening in your life and you need a refresher, but not because I'm only giving you enough for you to keep coming back.
Speaker 4:So you're not a drug dealer. I love this. No, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I am here because this mentality is how I've grown. One person is going to tell the next person, he's going to tell the next person, he's going to tell the next person. So I can actually hear you. So there's exactly, and the truth will set people free. Come on and it doesn't matter, like let's say I always say I am not that person that is going to tell you what you want to hear. I am that person that is going to work with facts and tell you what you need to hear, because everybody knows what comes easy goes easy. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:Life, it's not rainbows and roses. You're going to have to build mental grit, resilience. Things are going to be hard. This is how you get to the next level, and you mentioned guru. I don't believe in gurus, by the way, if the moment you stop growing, the moment you believe that you know absolutely everything about everything is the moment that you stop growing and you stop learning and you become ignorant, and I don't believe in that.
Speaker 1:I believe every area or industry. You have to keep learning. Even if you take it from a scientific perspective, it's proven. We really don't know anything about anything. Like today we say, okay, this is the truth, but then a year or two years from now, you're like, oh well, the research finds that this was a lie, Right so.
Speaker 1:I've become agnostic to a lot of things. I say this about a lot of things. So the goal is can we continue to learn and evolve with the information and the research that's being provided on a regular basis, whether you're a doctor, personal trainer?
Speaker 4:a beauty expert right.
Speaker 1:And or enthusiast, and you have to continue to learn. So I've built a community in which, if the general population understands that I believe losing weight, keeping the weight off, burning fat, gaining muscle is not hard Once you have the tools and once you are taught a sustainable path to reach that goal and it goes farther than just this is what you eat, this is how you train. You have to be able to make it a lifestyle here. It smells delicious, the chef amazing, but I control what I eat and you're mentally strong. Right, people do not understand in the general population that in order for you to look a certain way, you have to keep consistent. So, personally, even if I'm going to be three, four hours outside of my environment, I've already eaten. I really don't feel like eating outside or I just control that environment. That makes sense and that's what I teach people.
Speaker 3:I'm like dang.
Speaker 1:I'm literally just a little, can I just say this? And the more you know the Saturday gets, because I look at ingredients, I look at where food is being outsourced and it can become obviously I'm not gonna obsess over it, but I'm here.
Speaker 1:I'm in a way I'm 15 minutes away Like I just ate and I just came here and I'm good, I had some nuts, I had some water, I had some coffee and I'm good right. So I think, when people are giving the tools, and this is where a community gets, this is what I'm trying to build People on social media, that's my tribe Mitribu right.
Speaker 1:And I here. Once I came to America, I understood that the culture is very individualistic. You do, I'm gonna do for me. It's in the audience and instead of thinking as a whole. So within this community, we have sisterhood right, we have camaraderie, we have everything that you can think of. People can relate. It's like what you guys are doing, it's a mommyhood, and that's where we bring how to help you understand and have a better relationship with food, your workouts as a whole, the community part, the mental part, getting you ready for what's to come. Whether it's a holiday, whether it's family, whether it's your support system, it's as a whole. If you obviously you can give someone a diet plan, you can give them a great workout routine and they can do it for a little bit and then fall off, and that's when you gain it all back. Or because you haven't been given the tools to make that lifestyle change in that transition, and especially, as I get really serious with this, african-americans and Latinos, we have to change our culture.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but we are dying and they're making literally a lot of money out of our sickness. That becomes its lifestyle and how we live. And I'm not saying like you're just gonna go out and maybe you know you have to find moderation. I eat all the foods that you can imagine, but I make them healthy because the way that I feel and how I wanna live, I don't wanna be in pain. I'm 35 this year and I'm moving better than in my 20s.
Speaker 3:Period it just makes me realize how mentally weak, because I was literally in the gym the other day, about to cry because I'm like I gotta do this for the rest of my life if I wanna look good and feel good.
Speaker 1:Start thinking like if you go to the gym and I say this all the time focus on performance, getting stronger right. Getting stronger, getting faster, getting better right. Start thinking about the physiological changes in the brain, chemistry and what happens. You never. Obviously. If you're operating from a standpoint like I gotta make this bigger, I have to make this smaller, the body is going to come. Think about this. Weight loss wise. You're doing more. What's gonna happen? You're burning more calories. You're getting stronger. What's gonna happen? You are going to put them on muscle. You're eating healthier. It doesn't matter even. Oh, cut this or cut. Start eating healthy.
Speaker 3:You're creating the deficit.
Speaker 1:And start making a relation between how you feel and what you do. Your brain is going to do the rest.
Speaker 4:Wow. I'm like this is a great time for this, though, because we're you know, this is right after the new year, right after the holidays, when everybody is literally they're on that wagon of we're gonna go to the gym and I've got my new goals and all of these things. So I'm so glad that you are even here talking to our audience about this, because I think, with moms especially, we have not only the just the internal narrative of okay, I gotta go to the gym, but it's the I have to go to the gym to lose this mom weight. So, like what, you know, what I'm saying Like it's almost like what I'm hearing you say is we need to change all of that.
Speaker 1:It's your perception that you have to change, like how many resolutions have you made? Every single year is the same resolution. Yeah, we're gonna do this Now the gym hat.
Speaker 3:And then February, it's 15. Ooh, that's important. It's important. She's like you never told a lie, blair.
Speaker 4:You never told a lie, I mean it's hacked, you know, and then you fall off Like you can be in denial so you have to okay.
Speaker 1:So let's say here we're laughing, even though it's like kinda sad.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know no seriously, and I'm laughing because I've seen every single thing that you can think of. I've seen it. So what I do and say it's, instead of you thinking that you're just gonna make a new resolution, start thinking about what has stopped you from actually making that happen If you start taking account and being present. Be present with yourself. Stop being distracted. Stop being distracted by the 10, 15 social media stars or reality TV stars that you can think of because they're doing this or the media or this. Shut the noise. This is your life. You don't have a stylist. You don't have X amount of money. Things are not given for you for free. You may not have three nannies taking care of your children. This is real life okay.
Speaker 1:And you really need to understand.
Speaker 4:Let me just sit on the couch.
Speaker 1:It's true, it's true because I like to stay real.
Speaker 4:I love it. You have a beautiful life.
Speaker 1:Literally, you have a beautiful life with your beautiful children. Think about your support systems. The right and dies, like there's so many people that don't realize there's so many moms that don't realize they have everything to be happy. Happiness is not a dopamine rush because you got a new bag or this house or this or that. It's a state of mind and what you think you become. So start making a list of the things that truly stop you from making those changes. These are your boundaries.
Speaker 3:Way to bring it for circle Period you just taught me. I guess that's how you figure out the boundaries. These are your boundaries.
Speaker 1:Because you will have a support system that's not ready for your changes, for the new you. They want to stay back there. You're ready for a new chapter. So now you have people, let's say, projecting on you. Yes, a little bit Like this is, but why?
Speaker 1:You know or recently I went on a date and there's a reason why I don't drink. Drinking doesn't make me feel good Mentally, doesn't make me feel good. I feel horrible, it takes me time to recover and I start thinking negatively about myself. Okay, so this is the second date we go out with the drinking. Hey, don't make me feel like this. I said I personally don't drink and I could have one drink.
Speaker 1:But if you need me to drink, but if it's one drink cool, so like a glass of wine I can drag it for like two, three hours.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 1:But I know how I feel when I drink and I don't like it. And then who's just gonna drink? Just one drink.
Speaker 3:You know you're gonna go for a second.
Speaker 1:And then the third, and here you go, you're down, you know, having the greasy food and having this, and you're just like boom, you know. So I just don't like the weight I feel. So these are boundaries If we're gonna make it to this third date. Can I just be myself?
Speaker 3:Yes, and if you need, someone else to you know feel okay drinking, then you need to work with us, exactly because I'm okay with you drinking.
Speaker 4:Yeah, that too I'm good, I drink, I drink, I have a blast without drinking Me too.
Speaker 2:So this is what I'm saying boundaries?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know you need to get from point A to point B, so stop being in denial. It's going to be hard to make those changes, make them sustainable. This is a question Okay For everyone. Would you rather go through the growing pains and be at point B, or would you rather just stay there in pain, feeling bad about yourself, constantly complaining out loud with yourself about the things that you have to change? Something has to change, and that is you, how you think about things, and you have to get on the other side. It's going to be hard, but that is the process. You're there learning and that's how you build mental grit. Every single day that you do something that you didn't want to do, you get stronger, stronger, stronger, stronger, until you get to a point where you have defined who you are, where you want to be, and you stop complaining.
Speaker 3:So what's your program called and how do we find out? Oh wait, I'm sorry. I mean, let's plug that real quick. No, truly, let's do it yeah.
Speaker 1:So I have different programs, you know, from a very beginning, for my beginners all the way down to, like, expert levels. What's?
Speaker 3:the beginner one, because I'm a beginner.
Speaker 1:I may elevate. Okay, and now things. We have combined everything, so a lot of people think that I am an ambassador for the brands that I promote.
Speaker 4:They're a mind. She said it. No, I'm like it's yours. Yeah, they're a mind. Yeah, like your protein and stuff like that, right.
Speaker 1:But I don't push it too much, because what I push is health and wellness. If you are going to come back into my companies, it's because, okay, maybe you have learned, but I believe in continuing to provide people with the tools right, and then if we funnel you and you want to learn more, then you can come Right. So, true, supplements we started that about eight years ago and it's BS free. Yes, it's BS free. Yeah. If you're a mom, if you're breastfeeding, if you are pregnant, you can take most of our products. And it is making it easier to either transition into a better lifestyle, maintain the lifestyle that you have and or just make you a better performer in the gym or out of the gym. And then it coincides with the training any sort of training, because at 35, if you're 40, we'll see where I'll be 10 years from now, but I will be moving without pain, she's like I'm a little bit.
Speaker 1:My knees are great.
Speaker 4:My back doesn't hurt and that's what you want.
Speaker 1:Yes, she's working out, she's working on your fitness.
Speaker 4:She is. I've been looking at her. She looks good, she looks Come on. You look good, okay, meg yeah.
Speaker 3:I love it. Have you always been this mentally strong? Because I knew how you started in fitness, but was your mindset at the same point.
Speaker 1:Oh no, this was built. Who were you?
Speaker 3:10 years ago.
Speaker 1:Mentally, I guess, body dysmorphia, depression got me here. It's how I started fitness. I was raised by a very Orthodox Christian oh wow, I come from a very Orthodox Christian home, especially after my brother. I believe he's a miracle and my family completely transformed. So I was sheltered. Coming here to America, I thought everyone was going to be nice. People had the Lord in them, you know, and I'm a church girl.
Speaker 3:Did you come straight to LA? No, I was in New York. Oh, you went to. Yeah, you definitely were nice and you worked, though.
Speaker 1:Sorry, new Yorkers, but you know I had a lot to learn. I had to learn the language, learn the culture, learn how things are done. I was bullied Men if the analogy of the diamond how was the diamond Through?
Speaker 1:pressure. It was pressure. So I encourage women. You are not a damsel in distress. Yeah, Women are the most reliable multi-taskers, strong humans. So if you have forgotten how strong you are as a female, you need to remind yourself, Because you can take it, and I'm also speaking for men. We're resilient. We are resilient, we're going to rise above. This is what we do every single day. We rise above. So no, I wasn't like this and I was. I'm the only girl of five boys. I have two step sisters, but I, they, just they did something, you know and live did something relationships.
Speaker 1:It was the best thing. Emancipated when I was 17. I strong-minded, I started rebelling this is why I have the tattoos, because I'm artistic and whatnot and I emancipated at 17. My dad wanted me back home. He said to him after you, take me out of my space. You think that I'm going to go back home? Absolutely not. And man, my life was rough, not because my parents weren't out there, because I chose this life and it was the best thing that I ever did.
Speaker 1:It was rough, but it was the best thing because it taught me everything that I know right now, and I think that for Indy, I shelter her in a way that I'm here to teach you the way to fly on your own. But, baby girl, you're going to go out and you're going to fall. I'm going to let you go right there in the cliff, but I'm never going to let you fall. I'm here to support you, but she has to live and understand life, and you know book smart, street smart.
Speaker 2:I wasn't either, I was not street smart?
Speaker 3:I wasn't either. So, speaking of your daughter.
Speaker 4:how has that been? Because I feel like I used to be a single mom, so I know what it's like to, and my daughter was first kind of like navigate all that. You know what I mean. Like you're having the mental, your grit is on another level than most, but some single moms don't have that. How do you get yourself there? How do you tell yourself that like yes, I'm doing everything by myself, I'm literally like overwhelmed, I'm burnt out, but I have this mental grit. Where does that come from?
Speaker 1:Well, it comes from life, and I think Indy made me even better. I can't fail. I just can't you fail, that's it. That's what your daughter is going to see. And the crazy thing is, I think you know we have to break cycles. My mom was a force to be reckoned with. I wouldn't be the woman that I am if I didn't see what my mom did. My mom, that lady, is compassionate, driven Like oh that girl I like said that all the time.
Speaker 1:My parents. Honestly, they're amazing. I'm getting emotional because I miss them, but they are amazing and they were perfectly imperfect. There's things that I learned, even through the way that they raised me, that I would never do that with Indy. And now I see them like where were you? Where was that when I was growing up.
Speaker 2:But they were too stressed surviving.
Speaker 3:That's why grandparents are so good. They get to be soft, like all the stuff that they had.
Speaker 1:They wanted to do Exactly. So I think Indy made me even better, I think my decision to become a single mom I did it for many reasons, but it was that I can't fail. Now I'm here and my decision of becoming a single mom was pretty straight. I wanted to be happy, yeah, and I believe I've never given my two cents about my past because, first and foremost, everyone can understand here and I think humans are perfectly imperfect and when you are processing something that you've never processed before it's been almost like four and a half years and I'm still learning, I'm still processing and who am I to speak on something that in the moment, I'm not going to be in a neutral space? So now I see things different.
Speaker 1:Divorce sucks, it's not healthy and if you, there's some things that in some instances where it's amicable and that's what I wanted, but it wasn't. Now I'm understanding that communication, emotional intelligence. If you're going to teach your kid something and that's what I'm teaching Indy it's your ability to communicate, discomfort, your ability to communicate and be okay when someone has a different opinion. It's okay to be on two different pages. How do we come together and we make it work. That wasn't taught to me. Say as I say and do as I do.
Speaker 1:That said, I'm teaching her about emotions, how to channel her emotions. What are you feeling right now? Do you need a moment? Do you need to voice it out and like okay, girl, go to your room, it's okay to cry.
Speaker 3:It's okay to be angry.
Speaker 1:Because when we're angry, it's okay to have all these feelings. What is not okay is for you to make decisions when you are feeling either extremely sad, or extremely angry, and or extremely happy. Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's a good one, because we never add happy to that list.
Speaker 1:You have to make decisions when you're neutral.
Speaker 4:I told my daughter the other day. I said because she was pretty, I said your emotions and the things that you do in that moment is for a moment, but the action that you did when you had that emotion, it lasts. It leaves a residue, residue you can wipe all day long and it's still there. I was like, do you want this moment to last? Like, what are you? You have to think this through. Like, think it through because she, you know, but we do that and it's a lot of. It's funny because when I say these things to my daughter, I have the immediate like moment. Afterwards I'm like dang, what about me? What about me? Like I have a moments where I'm emotional and I'll say things or I'll do things, whether it be with my husband or, you know, with a friend, and I'm like, hmm, that's going to leave a residue.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I teach my daughter breathwork. I'm like just breathe because you want to decide if you still want to feel like this, because I'm like I get sad and there are some moments to cry, but sometimes you just need to think. So you can't think while you're upset or while you're, I guess, even happy. I'm like you're building up like your, your heart is beating, like all of the things are happening.
Speaker 3:You're not able to yeah, your adrenaline is going, so you can't think. So I try to get them to like breathe. I'm like let's just take a second and do that, and then we can decide how we want to feel. Yeah, and then we go from there. So that's what I'm teaching them, it's? You know, my kids are six and four, so it's not a thing. But I always tell myself I want to be like the voice in the back of their head when they grow up. So you will. I'm like maybe I'll take that with me.
Speaker 1:But it is a thing, because at a certain age up until your, I believe, 12, it's industry versus inferiority. So you may think that your kids are not understanding, but everything that you're doing right now, they're building their personalities. They're building who they want to be and I believe also in like coping mechanisms, people who can self-regulate. That's without anything. We're not talking without alcohol. We do it all the time and that's where you know. Going back to why people can stay healthy, first of all, we live in America. This is a hamster wheel.
Speaker 1:You're going to try to like, cope and get the dopamine rush and the tarot toning and whatever in all the unhealthy ways. Now can we teach you that exercise is a way for you to cope with this negative emotions, instead of you grabbing the alcohol, instead of you maybe engaging in? I mean unsafe behavior. Unsafe behavior right.
Speaker 1:Or the drugs or whatever it is, whether it's sex, whether it's anything. Can we teach? If we teach our children how to completely become neutral by themselves with all these different healthy coping mechanisms, then that's how we break the generational curses that have been imposed on us. Like you know, we have the Latino community. That's always like hitting and whatever. Please, you can use your words.
Speaker 2:There's no.
Speaker 1:I've never touched on my daughters, I've never laid a finger on my daughter and we talk because I respect her, she respects me, and we'll see where we're going to be, because they say like, oh, mothers, relationships and mothers and daughters is really hard, but I feel like that's going to be my best friend. She's my best friend right now and we're going to go through it and that's it. I hope that I have more children.
Speaker 3:I think if you start an even playing field relationship, it will go. I know people talk about the teenage years and it's not that it doesn't exist, but I believe what you say is what will become. So I try not to like, I try to believe that this is going to be our relationship throughout. I'm not going to start talking about, yeah well, she's a teenager, it's going to be hard. I'm convincing myself, it's going to be amazing because we're starting that. I'm the same. I talk to my children like they are adults, especially my daughter, and I'm like it's long, Like my daughter asked how our baby's made and I told her. I told her penis goes into a vagina.
Speaker 3:And that is how a baby is made, and that's why you need to protect, especially at this age, until you're married your vagina. Like it's very simple, but I was afraid to ask my parents things. And so then you go to your friends. I want them to know I'm never going to lie to them about anything, so they can talk to me. And of course you know, different stages happen and they'll approach their friends.
Speaker 3:But they don't have to worry about like, oh, my mom is going to have, so I try to be very open with them because I just I feel like I made a lot of mistakes, because I think I'm going to be very open with them. I didn't feel like I could talk to my parents.
Speaker 3:I didn't want to let them down. I also tell my kids you're going to make a whole bunch of mistakes. That's fine. Just come to me after the first mistake, because the second mistake is for you to usually get you in jail. Really Something.
Speaker 4:So elastic Elastic thing so come to me.
Speaker 3:after the first one, I got you boo.
Speaker 1:You can't get in trouble for the truth and like it's like we forget At some point you were a teenager.
Speaker 2:Oh gosh.
Speaker 1:So can we try to like understand our kids and like level with them and still I feel like there's Indie will respect. Yes, you know, because I respect her, and once you don't hide the truth, obviously you know there's certain things that you have to like age appropriate, yeah, but when you you have each other's backs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, 100% yeah, and they feel that. They feel that because I see how my daughter is with me and I'm just like it's the best feeling.
Speaker 2:It is it really is, especially at this stage, yep.
Speaker 4:Yep, and you mentioned earlier that you went on a date. Oh yeah, oh wow.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I heard you talk a little bit on social about like dating. Yeah, how's it? This?
Speaker 4:It's because and you're- like high profile, yeah People.
Speaker 1:So how do you even do that? It's crazy.
Speaker 3:You didn't think you'd be dating again.
Speaker 1:It's like this world.
Speaker 3:Oh no, I really want to find the one I believe in marriage.
Speaker 1:I have beautiful examples of what that looks like. I hate that and you know. Once you realize like, okay, well, this is what I did wrong or this is maybe I didn't ask the right questions. I was impressionable. Yeah, I, you know, and I think even in my past relationship we made a beautiful human.
Speaker 3:There was so many synergies.
Speaker 2:Yes, gorgeous.
Speaker 1:And just because there's certain things I didn't work out and the timing wasn't right and we didn't make the right effort, whether no one to blame, right, because I'm not that's, I'm healed, no, and now I can talk about it in a way that is not angry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right Now, I know how to ask the right questions. And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are not in tune with themselves, yeah, and they try to put this persona where you think they are, like I am myself. I am really simple. Yes, I have the ambition, I have a lot of masculine energy to provide to do all the things because I have to be. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm the sole provider for my daughter right and in the state of California. You know if you're successful or whatnot and it's I'm the sole provider.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:I am not counting on anyone but myself to provide for my daughter right. So until energy that makes me feel more feminine, I am, I'm, super feminine.
Speaker 3:Yes, oh, I believe in you when I have when that energy matches me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, yeah. So yeah, I believe in marriage. I believe I would love. I'm capping myself at 38 years old, okay, that's it. If at 38 years old, I cannot, that's it, I'm good, okay.
Speaker 3:Or maybe that's what I'm saying now. Yeah, I thought you were talking about children, but you're talking about me. No children, okay With children.
Speaker 4:Oh Okay, so you think you're not married by 38? You know?
Speaker 1:at 38, indy's just gonna be, or who knows.
Speaker 3:but Well, that's true, there'd be a difference.
Speaker 1:So you, I mean in general. I think you should have. I love children.
Speaker 3:Would you ever do surrogate?
Speaker 1:I wouldn't be. No, listen, being a single mom, I believe deep in my heart Having a male figure and having a female figure. It is what's healthy. Okay For growth. Yes, yes, like women, like I am, yeah, I'm powerful. And I can do this on my own you do want to have, and whether it's an uncle or brother that has to be part of the child.
Speaker 4:You said Kim hired a man. Oh a man, a man, a man, a man. Yes, she said Kim.
Speaker 3:Kardashian hired a man. She wanted her children to have a male figure.
Speaker 1:There you go and like it's Come on Like I would love. If I have a child with another person, I'm locked in. I am not neither becoming a statistic. Yes, I want to provide the family that I see in my head and I want mom and dad happy. You know figuring it out, because everybody knows that marriage is not easy. It's work. You're going to go through good seasons, hard seasons, and it's. Are you there with your best friend? Yeah, with your right and die? Yeah, with someone who loves and sees that marriage is commitment. Yes, to the good, the bad, the ugly, but I want to be with my best friend and that's who I want to meet. And it doesn't matter what they do, because together we make it work. It doesn't matter. We grow, we're nurturers, females, when you are in your feminine power, it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for someone like money or status. I'm looking for someone who is, who is. It's like yin and yang.
Speaker 1:We will make it grow together, we will be, this together and I don't believe in the whole thing like oh, we make each other like whole. No, come whole, Two whole.
Speaker 3:Two whole, but you're coming into this from a mint like not just healed but mentally strong place, Like I'm sure, whoever you were because think about who you are in your 20s You're a whole different person You're not the same mentally strong person you are now, so the person you attract is going to be different to your 20s than you are in your 30s. Like if I was to get, it would just be totally different who I'd end up with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want that puppy love. I want. I don't know if she want to be on the phone all night, all night. Those are the most she don't necessarily know.
Speaker 4:Our first, non-negotiable I don't remember later. Boundaries, boundaries. How about that? That's the first thing when you first start dating. You're like on the phone non-stop.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that is true, and you fall asleep on the phone. Yeah, you gotta give them two weeks for that.
Speaker 3:How about the boundaries two weeks?
Speaker 1:No, yeah, I mean it's not that hard, but I do, because I do see myself talking all the time to this person.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah so.
Speaker 1:I want to know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's hard, it will happen. So you better come correct, because you see how she is Right. You gotta be ready for her, yeah like.
Speaker 1:And when we say come correct, it's like just come with an open heart, come being yourself. You don't have to pretend Like what are we trying to do here? Trying to see if we just can become like this. Okay, so like come as you are.
Speaker 2:Come as you are, imagine what, just like at the church, like I don't know at all there's a lot of barriers in my life.
Speaker 3:I know you don't want to be a guru or anything, but you know a whole lot, I'm gonna give you a whole lot. We won't say it all, but.
Speaker 1:But I want that, you know. I want that energy. You know I don't want to be in like this masculine. Yes, I know that I can do this proven. Yes, I can, but I don't, it's hard.
Speaker 3:I don't want to. I don't want to All the time Like it's life.
Speaker 1:It's better and it's easier with two people.
Speaker 3:Yes, no, we say all the time like the whole like super mom or super woman thing, like great. But if you're calling me super mom or super woman, that means I need help, like I don't want to. I can be, but I don't want to have to be. I don't want to have to be.
Speaker 4:I put on the cake when. I need to, but I don't want to wear it on.
Speaker 1:Yeah and I believe in traditional roles.
Speaker 4:Even though in my family mom and dad, whatever.
Speaker 1:Like I never saw gender roles Okay, If that needed to be picked up, whether it was mom and dad, they used to check each other out when you at. Okay, you were at a 10? Okay, I got you. Yeah, you know, even now like while my mom is cooking, my dad is doing the dishes. Yeah, and like they're so cute.
Speaker 3:They're so cute, they're ridiculous.
Speaker 1:How long have they been married? 34 years, yeah, 34 years, going on 35, and they've married twice.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can with oh, they married each other twice, twice Wait, divorced and married again. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2:They just got married, yes and that are renewal, you know they there was just the cutest thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the cutest thing. Like you know, they came to visit the other day. I'm like where are they? And they're like literally in the backyard together like literally belly, you know, looking at each other. It's ridiculous.
Speaker 4:They're so like in love.
Speaker 1:It is. They're in love. I love that and they have gone through thick and thin. Yeah, and the way they look at each other.
Speaker 3:I want that. Yes, so you talk about the next, when you get married again.
Speaker 2:you guys are gonna work it out?
Speaker 3:no, matter what, but it and you kind of you touched on this a little bit before. But what were the signs that, like this one, had to? Because you sound like when I get married it's commitment. So like what made you realize, like I know I feel that way, but I can't commit to this. We were on two different pages.
Speaker 1:I can speak on the, you know, yeah, on the other person, but what I value, it's very different. Okay, like I don't, I'm not held by the material. Okay, you know, I believe that I was like people need to understand like I love and breathe this. I'm successful because every single day that I wake up, I'm doing something that I love. Okay, I'm a people person. Okay, right. So I think, you know, when two people are just not on the same page and it doesn't matter like if you're reaching a relationship or you're seeing your relationship on who's right or who's wrong, it's never gonna work. Okay, yeah, no, 100%, it has never worked. It's not about being right or wrong, it's about what can okay, cause we're on the same team.
Speaker 3:First of all, exactly If I am winning, you're winning.
Speaker 4:If you're winning, I'm winning, I'm gonna fight your teammate. Yes, okay, you can't.
Speaker 1:And, like I said, you have to see, like once I had Indy and this is biological. Okay, in your biology as a female, we have to carry. We, like a male, can just impregnate you and just move on to the next. But biologically speaking, we have a lot to lose. So, we're protecting that offspring right.
Speaker 1:That as much as we can, right. So I looked at her and I said is this the life that I wanna live? Yeah, no, and you know I say it all the time. When things are sped up and when you are trying to meet a partner, you have to have a lot of things like link up from your religion to how you wanna spend money, how do you wanna manage money, what's important to you, how you wanna parent, education, politics, like all these things matter, right, because you know they have to align and or if they don't align, then you have to. You know, at some point you have to have someone who's like oh okay, like that person's not gonna be perfect.
Speaker 3:What are?
Speaker 1:you, is your ego big enough or not big enough is your ego? Hmm, how do I? Flexible, yeah, flexible enough to say like you know what, it's okay, you know what Like.
Speaker 3:I really don't like when you do that, but like okay, like okay.
Speaker 1:I can just brush that off and I just knew we just your intuition. If you continue to feel like things are like not aligning and you're just going to have this all the time when you're giving, then it's just not.
Speaker 3:You know, especially when you have your parents as an example right, the sky is blue exactly.
Speaker 1:So and it's not. You know. Of course we can say like that was about person or this is because it's not aligning with you, but I knew what I didn't want and that's it. I'm looking at it In every single year. It's different, because as you evolve it's different. Like that is the father of my child, and it doesn't matter. This is crazy, but this is how you know if you're a good Christian or not.
Speaker 4:He's got the blood out.
Speaker 1:You just can you see them differently. You are able to turn the other cheek and just put your child first, that, no matter what, they're going to reach that point whenever they reach that point, I was really hotheaded you, ok, I can give and give and give, but if you reach that point I will freak it. Well, I used to. I would explode, like that's it.
Speaker 3:And then you're just like you probably held a lot back. So if you hold back, it's going to Exactly.
Speaker 1:So now it's like why am I just going to hold back, hold back, hold back until I explode? No, so it's now. It's like created something beautiful. I had a lot of things to process, right To the point where I think that there's a lot of things that were unfair. And now it's just like I'm just so hyper focused on my happiness, so hyper focused on Indy, so hyper focused on you know how can I even expand my business, but expanded from a good. You know, at some point I thought that I was not deserving of this. You know how hard I've worked.
Speaker 3:I can't even like the monstrosity.
Speaker 1:I can't even imagine you ever that I was in the serving. Yeah, you know when did you get?
Speaker 3:over that.
Speaker 1:Not too long ago. Wow, because it's hard to see people suffering and you doing well. Ah, I can do that. That is just the hardest thing. Yeah, and I had to go to therapy for that, wow. So now it's like okay, I don't feel bad about providing the business that I provide it's instead of giving the fish. Let me teach you how to fish. Yes, right, so, and I felt bad like there's a lot of suffering in the world. Yes, so for you to be doing well. When you hear like people are just doing this and that and the third, like that's.
Speaker 1:It's rough, I can imagine, but you give, like, yes, you're getting, but you're giving yes and like, when you have a company, that's the coolest thing To get to a point where you can give back yes, like, oh, like. There is no better feeling.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know that you can give back. That is everything.
Speaker 4:But, masi, I have one last question. Oh, one last thing. What do you think moms actually need to hear right now? Even though, if y'all, if, y'all ain't here nothing. This whole episode, I don't know what y'all might need to put the dishes down.
Speaker 3:You don't hurt something.
Speaker 4:So the laundry down all that. But seriously, if the last thing you could leave them with, what do you think they need to hear?
Speaker 1:OK. So this is where it's like tough love yes, right, can't wait. Don't be in denial, right, that is the worst place where you can be. Don't play the victim, Right. And by saying that it's, you know the parts that you play and the situations that you're in. So I cannot say, you know, we're talking about this, like you're doing a great job. I don't know who I'm speaking to.
Speaker 2:She said you might love me.
Speaker 1:Man, you know, if you are not in denial, sometimes we are the common denominator, geez.
Speaker 3:Right, oh, we're the common denominator in all of it, we're our relationship Right.
Speaker 1:So don't be in denial. You're not a damsel in distress. You can't play this victim mentality. You are resilient, you are going to thrive and maybe you are not comfortable being uncomfortable. But once you get comfortable being uncomfortable, there's a lot of things that are going to unlock. So be strategic. Set yourself a plan. Don't start thinking about like, oh my god, this is so big and how am I even going to start? Break it down. Break it down because time does not wait for anyone and if you get stuck, a year, five years, 10 years is going to pass by and you're going to think about who you were and what you used to be. You are resilient. You will evolve, you will break through, but it's going to take you not being in denial and for you to take action for you to make that happen. Come on, you're a powerful being, getting your power. Trust your intuition. Let's get it. You got this.
Speaker 3:What's the beginner program called? Again MA LA Bing. She thinks I'm joking.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:She's going to see Blair Jumpy no.
Speaker 1:But think about this when you feel good, when you look good, you have to be vain with yourself, because it's either you're going to be wishing something like oh my god, I wish I look, you can, yes, you can look like that, you can be that person, you can do those things, but you have to get regimented. Get regimented, but it's going to be a process. It's going to be pretty, it's going to be ugly, it's going to be all the things that you can think of, but you're going to get it done. You will do this, trust me.
Speaker 3:Snap some of these.
Speaker 4:No, I literally don't have anything else to say, blair.
Speaker 3:That's it, thank you so much. Thank you, no. Thank you, you've changed my life today.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, I mean, thank you.
Speaker 3:Got rid of all my excuses. Thank you guys. Thank you so much. I know my excuses are excuses. Yeah, Thank you. So thank you.
Speaker 4:Really appreciate you. I'm going to say thank you on behalf of our audience because I know that there are women right now. They're probably in tears, to be totally honest. I mean, if I was in a certain place, I'm sure, like me two years ago, me a year ago, I would be in tears right now.
Speaker 1:Truly, I'm going to grab this paddle. You can leave that relationship. If it's abusive, ok, you can step out and you will do something with your life. You don't have to get stuck in there because at one point and I left everything, didn't even look back and I said I will rebuild myself and I will learn and I will grow and I would get it done and I will never look back and the things that I've learned in this journey. I've become better in every single way, and I'm not saying that you're always going to be like, oh so hard, but you don't have to be in that relationship. If you don't need to, you can leave. You can rebuild yourself. You do think about it. Vulnerability takes courage and takes strength. You have people around you that can help you. Being vulnerable, it's one of the best things that you can do, because you do have help, you do have a community, you do have sisterhood.
Speaker 1:Be, honest with yourself. You got this.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, thank you. Wow, this is like when you saved to watch a week, like once a week. Look you guys. You said I'm going to get. You said I almost get those tears. She said I'm going to get them from you, girl.
Speaker 4:Yeah, no, no, no, this is great. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. This was beyond mine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, way beyond Awesome guys. Thank you so much. Thank you guys for watching hey girl hey da bere, stay aside.
Speaker 4:What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. What's up hey girl. Thank you.
